Comments | mike_smith: The Negotiation Limerick File

mike_smith

The Negotiation Limerick File

Sep 27, 2006 23:10

Hey, kids? What I need you to do is don't settle in, and don't get a snack, because this one's really short, OK? OK.

( So short I'm not even sure why I'm cutting it. )

prisonerofazkaban

Comments 20

kirabana September 28 2006, 03:20:38 UTC

"the hippogriff might get off" i'll never read that the same way again

"...with all the magic at their disposal, they still put animals down with axes?" well, what would they have done? (i'm honestly thinking about it)

jim_smith September 28 2006, 03:40:42 UTC

I dunno, did Snape kill Dumbledore with nunchucks? I thought they all used Force lightning to get the job done.

kirabana September 28 2006, 03:48:36 UTC

kinda overkill to use that on a hippogriff. plus, it's Unforgivable, you don't go throwing those around casually

mike_smith September 28 2006, 04:09:14 UTC

I dunno, did Snape kill Dumbledore with nunchucks?

No, but he damn well should have. Nunchucks are exactly what this book has been sorely missing. It's like those later episodes of TMNT, when Michaelangelo has to use that shitty climbing rope.

Thread 15

redcoast September 28 2006, 03:52:11 UTC

Might be a hippogriff, might be Pee Wee Herman's bike in the basement of the Alamo. You never can tell.

Foreshadowing!

paladina September 28 2006, 16:41:28 UTC

The appeal is so the wizarding world can feel good it has justice while in reality everyone knows the hippogriff's good as dead.

merenwen_81 September 28 2006, 17:59:53 UTC

That's pretty much how the wizarding justice system seems to work for humans too. If someone looks guilty right from the start, they don't need a proper trial. Off with their head!

tropical_madnes September 28 2006, 19:41:27 UTC

...and Snape ain't no bartender serving fruity frozen drinks in a cutesy hut with a thatched roof.

Great. Snape as cabana boy - that is one image I do not need in my head.

seductivedark September 30 2006, 19:09:29 UTC

...knock back a few ice cold glasses of pumpkin juice... EEEEEEGGGGGHHHHHH! They drink it cold, too? Seriously, does Rowling even know what a pumpkin is?

There is pumpkin ice cream, too, and in our Real World, not Rowling's Potterverse. About the heaviest, most over-filling ice cream there is, but we have it.

She predicts that Voldemort's servant will break free after twelve years in captivity...

Since Sirius Black escaped at the beginning of the book, she's a bit slow, isn't she? (Her Spirit Guide must use carrier pigeons and not know they're extinct).

...and rejoin his master, enabling him to return to his former glory. And it'll happen TONIGHT. On PAY-PER-VIEW.

Cool. Only, I forgot how to notify the satelite company that I want PPV. Guess you'll have to update me.

Yes, it's [EXPLETIVE DELETED] Scabbers......strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of normal rats... Scabbers! Who can change the course of mighty gutters, bend wire in his bare paws, and who, disguised ( ... )