more thoughts

[mikecoyote]

so since so many of you were kind enough to respond, I figured I'd give some more back ground to my thoughts

Comments

[ext_75832]

Honestly, there are things that I never understood about you (but never questioned) that suddenly make sense.

Speaking of honesty, that is the best policy when it comes to Grant. If you dont always meet when it comes to taking the fantasies and getting it to reality, know that there is a way to make that happen. When it comes to any love you might feel for another "playmate" or "friend with benefits", just know that it is a balancing act. You have to realize if you are getting more emotionally attached to the other person in comparison to Grant. IF you are, than communication between Grant needs to happen so that resolution may come.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us on this. ITs not easy to admit anything remotely resembling character flaws but Im sure you feel better now that you have written this out. :)

Stego and I send you two our love

[focswulfe_light]

I have found that I have gotten pretty attached to those close to me, I'd even go as far of saying I've gotten jelious of those people. It's caused problems in past relationships in particular where my kindness got the better of me and things fell apart. I'd say that again communication between your friends and with Grant is paramount in this as you need to understand which of your "crushes" likes the affection and emotional attention you want to give, while making sure it doesn't compromise your closeness with Grant either.

[mikecoyote]

I get jealous very often. even to the point of getting angry and jealous when one of my "crushes" is off having fun with other people I dont know. I try to fight it, but it can often be hard to see clearly though the filter of anger or hurt.

[focswulfe_light]

I've been there myself, I still try to curb my possiveness of friends and social situations as well as romantic attachments. *hugs*

[rmoorcat]

dude, you n me have got to talk....mabey I can help you. I have a mate I really do love, and our story suprised me, but still has relevance to yers. so, ya, either via IM or something.

[mikecoyote]

I'm almost never on chats these days :( I go in binges, where I'll be online for hours each day for several days... then weeks of nothing. this is another thing Im trying to change, since I want to be a better friend to the various people I only communicate with through chats and emails and LJ.

[mikecoyote]

"what is my relationship with grant based on?" is a question I used to ask my self alot. we spent a good deal of time being very frustrated with each other for a large number of reasons. for several years in the early parts of our relationship I used to ask that question alot. with a heavy heart I answered that we were just roomates who shared a bed....and finances. but who gave or got nothing else from each other. we fought alot, over mundane things like dishes (or more appropriately how I never did them, and how grant just got angry and bottled it up). however over time I felt like this less and less. we went to a couples therapist. we learned how to communicate better, and how to anticipate each others reactions. our long trips to see friends and family in other parts of california were no longer filled with angry silence, but with talk of this fun idea or another, or of something we wanted to make or do in the future. the happy times are filled by our mutual feelings about the world around us

[bastekk]

I have a lot of thoughts about this (I've been experiencing something not really that similar, but in the same sort of vein) and I want to talk to you about it! We should hang out sometime soon and get to chatting about it.

*huuuuuuugggs*

[aenaminie]

Yeah me too... I'm starting to think that you, Mike, and myself are sailing in the same rickety BRIGHT FUCKING GREEN boat.

[bastekk]

bright fucking green..? XD

[mikecoyote]

we should! and grant is down to help you with any and all math :) just give us a call, I think we are pretty free most of this week :)