Ideally, college campuses should be censorship-free zones that are conducive to the personal growth and development of the individual. Popular culture would have us believe that freshmen are presented with limitless opportunities to form their own beliefs and opinions when they arrive on campus. While universities may superficially claim to support ( Read more... )

It's my last day of work at the Crisis Respite and I notice a female co-worker I hadn't seen before. After trying a few times to understand her name, I realize she prefers to go by Abe. I preemptively tell her I'm taken, but she's not fazed ( Read more... )

I'm back in my childhood home, but this time my lady friend is with me. We're on my bed and for some reason she's wearing my glasses. Before things get too heated up, I decide I better go to the bathroom. Suddenly, I'm worried about my movie schedule for today (ed note: seeing three movies at the Alamo in a bit) conflicting with my classes, ( Read more... )

I'm at Terror Tuesday watching The Hidden. I've seen it before (editor's note: haven't seen it in real life and know nothing about the movie) and it strikes me as thoroughly mediocre until the end. The last scene has the hero lying in bed with his pet cat after he believes he has defeated the demon threat. Suddenly, the cat starts acting ( Read more... )

I wake up in the morning and am compelled to look underneath my pillow...cat feces are present. I am not sure how I managed to sleep the night away with such a treasure hidden beneath my weary head. I freak out and Liza wakes up and follows suit. The feces get flung across the far corners of the room in the commotion and Charlie runs and hides ( Read more... )

I'm leaving my grandma's house to go somewhere. On the way out, I notice a waffle on the kitchen table, and I break off a quarter of it to snack on because I'm in a hurry. Suddenly, my grandma appears, and she's the angriest I've ever seen her. She's freaking out that I would eat part of my grandfather's waffle and makes me promise to help bake ( Read more... )

I get up in the middle of the night to urinate, but the wall that usually separates the bathroom from the bedroom has suddenly gone missing. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem; however, somehow since getting up, several familiar people have magically appeared in my bed and are now eagerly watching me for my next move. I do not desire to ( Read more... )

I am naked and crouching in the living room of my grandmother's house. It is the wee hours of the morning. My mom and grandma approach the room I used to inhabit; they intend to wake me. They find my dead body in the bed and try to shake it into getting up. I yell at them that I'm in the living room and that I'm already up. They acknowledge ( Read more... )

I'm an overweight Samoan. I'm on the bus with a friend. I start to complain loudly about labor pains despite my inability to give birth and I am kicked off of the bus for it ( Read more... )

I'm in a projection booth at the Alamo Drafthouse with a friend. A programmer is there with us and he's enticing us with special privileges if we give into his carnal desires. I seriously consider it but then he starts hinting that he'll be giving us herpes ( Read more... )