( 100 things you never wanted to know about me )

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Bigish

Bigish who?

Not today you scrounging twat!

Virgin Mary my arse...more like a cunning way to outwit the CSA in my opinion!

I've recently discovered that trying to split 2 frozen burgers apart with a carving knife is not a wise idea, and futhermore it's extremely painful to remove said carving knife from bone.

Walked past Anne Summers this morning which reminded me I needed some oil type substance to fix the bathroom door handle. Wondered if their lubricant stuff would work. Also wondered if it would be more eco-friendly. Does sex lube have fossil fuel in it? But then I remembered when I was in there before with this woman I met from the internet. It ( Read more... )

What's the point in the doomsday clock? It's not like anyones ever gonna get to see it hit midnight.

Stoned people should never be allowed to get involved in the argument as to whether cannabis should be legalised...to quote some guy I just heard on the radio...'How can cannabis be bad for you when it grows naturally?' I also find it somewhat bizarre that at the same time as trying to phase out smoking in society the government are doing more to ( Read more... )

How do you know when you're getting old? Is it spending hours every morning hunting for grey hairs? Is it when your natural musk becomes infused with a hint of urine? Or is it when you develop a newfound interest in dips? For me it is definitely the dip thing, and to that end ( Read more... )

Hey there peeps

Everything is marvellously rosey. The birds are swaying, trees are singing, it's an ok life. Met a gorgeous girl, goes by the name of Nat. That is all for now

I'm a bad man. I'm a very, very bad man. Plus my life is turning into one big cliche. It's all fun though. In a married woman, husband away in the armed forces, meeting in hotels for sex kinda way. Only I like her too much to settle for just fun...that bit really sucks.