Came out to the woods to find my life
Trying to push out of this din and see the light
Pushing up from the covers that cover me whole
The weight shoving down, the shovel digging the hole

Came out to the city to find the right spark
Trying to push out of this rut and see in the dark
Twisting for angles to slide in between
These weights crushing down, down ( Read more... )

How do I meet my goals?

I need to stop with a constant comparison, judgment, and high expectation. I know that much, but how do I do that and still keep moving forward?

Multiple times there have been discussions about values and I always drift there.

I know what I want to do, but what values do they reflect?

Also- I know putting a word to what's ( Read more... )

I try to stay mindful and in the moment- but the longer I spend alone with my thoughts the more they feel like bursting from my face.

Line from the Pena Chadron book I’m reading basically said you’re so busy listening to yourself you don’t hear the world.

Trying to hold that close and true for this week.

I feel overwhelmed. I feel like the sky is showing that overwhelming feeling by pouring rain from the sky.

However, instead of sinking into despair and mental ruminations I am ( Read more... )

Difficulty difficulty difficulty with values.

This has come up multiple times in the past year as I have attempted to expand and grow both professionally and personally.

So, as it comes up again let's just word vomit this out shall we?

What's important to me? What do I want my life to stand for?
I am important to me. My lifestyle is important to me ( Read more... )

I make art with the hair on the shower wall
I wonder why I am here at all
I get out and wonder where to start
It'll be alright

The clock counts up 4, 5, 6, 7
I wonder when the claims begin
I move into the next room and
Begin the thoughts all over again

The couch has formed around my shape,
The blanket I made,
The clock keeps ticking 8, 9, 10
It's time to sit ( Read more... )

I've started this entry several times in my head and a couple times on this site.

The end of the year is always where I (as do several people I would assume?) tally up the good, bad, and neutral of the previous year.

Where did we excel? Where did we struggle? Where did we fail?

A new book I'm reading also has me checking in with struggle- stating ( Read more... )

Alright- continuing with my mixing it up. More meditation, more strength training, and more word creativity / guitar.

Day 2 of number generated poetry comes from an article I'm reading on ACT for continuing education. Paragraph 5, words 1&7.

Another, skills. (time limit 5 minutes because I have to get ready for work)

Another day starting up,
I pour ( Read more... )

Alright, to start improving myself I am mixing things up a little as recommended by a couple of meditation and self-reflection books.

It says to change you habits.

So I also had some slight glute pain last week, a result of too much stress which equaled too much running and not enough stretching and strength training.

New habit: Strength training ( Read more... )

Hilarious as it is- the day of the last entry I received a call from the health department confirming that I had indeed tested positive for COVID-19.

I no longer have the hope of making it through the pandemic as a miraculous survivor, one who is able to hold off the inevitable, or one of those lucky percentage that does not have any symptoms with ( Read more... )