It's a Saturday morning. My son is chatting happily in his bouncy chair, ignoring his little play toy thing in front of him. Apparently his fingers and my face is more amusing to him. I'm not sure if I would smile much if it wasn't for him ( Read more... )

My heart is breaking all the time. I can't sleep because I'm hurting so bad. He could make it so much better if he just tried. he's not trying. I cry and fall asleep, I wake up and I cry some more because he's not here. When he is here, he wants nothing to do with me. He wants me to stop mother him...so i dont ask him where he's at or how long he' ( Read more... )

It's two days into "working things out" or our "trial based relationship" and I'm still as unhappy as ever. It's like he's unwilling to do any changing. I think that maybe our relationship is so fucked to him he doesn't want it anymore. Probably just sticking around until something better comes around. I dont know. He comes home at 8 in the morning ( Read more... )

We broke up, we try to work things out...I hope we dont turn out to be one of those couples. We're not in High School anymore. Either he loves me or he doesnt. I feel like I'm making the wrong choice. I dont know how I'm going to tell my family "hey, sorry I'm settling for less than what I deserve because I love him..." I feel like they're going to ( Read more... )

Why dont you understand how much I love you? Why dont you understand that my skin hurts because it aches to be next to yours? I'm sorry that I'm crazy- that I'm needy... I dont want to push you away. Please just STOP pushing me away. Please stop leaving me by myself as my heart and soul cries for you. I thought that this was what love is...Being ( Read more... )

I dont know what to do anymore. I love Kalvin. I do. I want us to be happy and to get along. But, I'm not sure anymore if it'll happen. I can try to watch my temper and just let things roll off my back...But I feel like I'm the only one that is. Kalvin can get mad at me and not talk to me for what seems like forever. He doesn't really seem to be ( Read more... )

Well, we moved. Kalvin and I have our own apt. It's a townhome, kinda in the hood but not TOO hood. Its got two bedrooms, full finished basement, hardwood floors...pretty much the tits. We're happier now, without all the stress of living at the other house. I'm happy that we can do what we want, whenever we want. We could have sex on the table if ( Read more... )

I want so much change in my life. Ideally, I want to change myself to the point where I am doing well... That I'm reading for my classes, that I'm working out, that I'm eating better...I want to get myself into a better schedule. I want to be able to look at my life and say that I"m doing everything I can to live a good life that I can be proud of ( Read more... )

Kenny Chesney, Somewhere With You Lyrics ( Read more... )

Kinda ready for a good change here.... So if it wasn't evident from the previous entry, Jay gave me the typical "I love you as a friend but I dont see a relationship with us" speech. So fucking typical. Shoulda saw that coming. I try to tell myself not to invest feelings into a guy and I always do. Its getting more painful as they come along ( Read more... )