its been quite some time since i posted anything, i think i was close to killing myself the last time i actually did so i thought i should come on here and say ( Read more... )

its very lonely here ( Read more... )

well... im at my highest weight in prob like 4 yrs.... what a way to bring in the new yr, but thats the thing... its a new yr, so i will be better..... everything will get better and i will reach my lowest weight ever... and lower.... happy new year bitches.. may 09 serve you well

i would seriously sell my soul to the devil to be skinny. like for reals.... im on a mission to lose as much weight as i can b4 my bday and if there really is good and evil in the world, i will lose 10lbs by then. o, this is part of the reason i have little to no faith now, i tried this once b4 and only got fatter. i saw pics of myself and i really ( Read more... )

told the rents ive been purging.

feel worse now then b4.

hate myself and how little i care anymore.

hate myself and how much i care.

i dont belong here.

i dont belong anywhere.

i wanna go home, too bad i've never felt there.

i looked at a lot of girls posting about collage, and wanting to finish b4 this disease eats them alive... mine already ruined my collage career and its still a struggle just knowing i HAVE to go back and finish. i wish i didnt... i wish i could just follow my dreams and do what i wanna do and i cant ( Read more... )

so this is going to be a long and obnoxious update but it so over due. me and chris didn't work out and I wish I had never gone that route because I feel like I lost a friend. I guess I was just coaght up in the idea of what was. I was feeling the person I knew way back when butnot the person he is now. he's still a totally great and awsome guy, ( Read more... )

so I went to see max payne last nite and it was fricken awsome! aside from the fact that mark whalburg is the sexiest man alive the cinimatagraphy was pretty great ( Read more... )

might be moving back home.

might be for the best.

I'm scared to death.

need to stop being a people pleaser.

everything in my world is spinning in front of me and it wont stop. there is so much i need to be doing right now and i cant pull myself together long enough to get out my house. i cant seem to make it all stop. maybe writing this will help. maybe if i do this long enough, the xanax will kick in and i will be able to get to school ( Read more... )