I can't feel my face! Mmp Mmp... Hoo, was I ever trippin on the dentist's nitrous oxide... They put that silly orange mask on my face, and I was takin a tour of Candyland before I could exhale. If I hadn't disconnected myself long enough to answer a phone call from Nicole, I may have become a permanent resident in that other realm of dancing ( Read more... )

I just missed my best friend ( Read more... )

If there's one thing to be said about the people here at work, it's that they have a sense of humor. Today, we held a change of command ceremony for the product office that maintains the Sentinel Radar system, and to kick off the event, they showed a powerpoint presentation that had "Radar Love" playing over scenes of the Sentinel at work. Those ( Read more... )

There is a large, dead spider lying curled up on the floor of my bathroom. His spindly legs are wrapped around his body tighter than Xtina's halter tops and frankly, he disgusts me. I walk into my bathroom from time to time to tell him just that. I look down at the lifeless corpse, snarl up my nose, and say, "You disgust me." Then I get goose ( Read more... )

A week in paradise has ended... and not a moment too soon. It was lovely while it lasted, but I'll be more than content to sleep in my own bed in the temperate clime of north Alabama from here on in thankyouverymuch ( Read more... )

Well well well. There's a strong wind and a following sea... The time has come for me to say farewell. Starting tomorrow, I will be playing pirate on the Gulf coast for an entire week--not too terribly far from the Caribbean, I might add. Mmmm the beach. I'm just all atwitter with excitement. Sand and sea... salty breezes and seagulls... Oh get ( Read more... )

Yarrrrrr The Pirates of the Caribbean was bloody brilliant. It be inspirin' me to hoist the Jolly Roger and take to the seven seas with me swashbucklin crew. Beware the cut-throat curs Omarrr, Captain Slim, and meself--El Pollo Diablo! ARRR ( Read more... )

Oh oh oH so much rain!! Beautiful, wonderful, torrential rain!

If I weren't in this office, I'd be out sliding face-first through a giant puddle.

And you know I would.

( de poll, de poll! )

He said, "Brandy, you're a fine girl. What a good wife you would be (such a fine girl)!"

Public Service Announcement: If you are an obnoxious show-going hoodlum between the ages of 15 and 17, please refrain from being a jerk to me. Or if you insist on being a jerk, at least tell me to go away before I waste my time trying to talk to you. Thanks ( Read more... )