I seriously think that I am losing my FUCKING MIND

The following is an excerpt from a book that I have written with the help of my colleague Chris Kringle (a.k.a. Sandy Claws). Together, we have co-authored a brilliant manuscript that will soon become your very own personal handbook and dayplanner. Your Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Your bible. Common Sense or some shit like that. The title ( Read more... )

I graduated in June but, due to my lack of motivation and resentful cynicism, I never took the liberty to go and get my diploma. (When they take your picture at the graduation ceremony you are expected to pose with an empty diploma holder.) I thought the bastards were trying to trick me; so I went to the high school last week and requested my ( Read more... )

I just put salt all over the canker sore in my mouth and punched myself twice in the stomach ...

Brutal

Apparently only Janae found that funny ( Read more... )

I would do it too but all my picture are on my computer where there is no internet connection. But I do have the following to pictures to disturb you.

Check it out; I am in the bottom right hand corner:

( Read more... )

I have just unintentionally kicked my cat in the tooth.
That shit hurt.
My toe is bleeding.

...he seems fine.

jessica?
indeed

oh yeah and this is funny:
(in response to janae's questionnaire)

35. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION? "wow, kevin brought home a GIRL for a change. lol jk"

FUCK YEAH!

So after carrying around a bottle of synthetic urine and a heat pad in my underwear all day long, I officially have the smelliest testicles in the world. They have never been this smelly in my entire life. And after having a 100 degree bottle of piss taped to my crotch all day, WHILE taking 5 hour welding test I did not even have to take the drug ( Read more... )

FUCK YEAH

I go in for a welding test tomorrow and the drug test...

and start work next monday!

IF I pass the drug test
Which I will :)

bwahahhahahaha