Comments | mona1610: Last day

mona1610

Last day

Aug 30, 2007 17:13

It was Rawiri's last day. No more mutilated bodies birthing from tombs, no cleaning sore wounds, breathing loathsome odors. Reversing nature’s order was dandy for Governments. In lieu of revival, the dead were setup to right past wrongs ( Read more... )

dead, stories, rawiri, brevity, ira, 100_words

Comments 8

minn August 30 2007, 05:27:20 UTC

Oooh, I really liked that. :)

mona1610 August 30 2007, 07:36:50 UTC

thanks minn. This is my third post to the community, but I'm afraid I'm not getting any better at brevity. :/

You can check my first and second posts, if you like. :)

rileen August 30 2007, 11:55:51 UTC

Neat. Great idea, and you did a good job of fitting it within 100 words.

mona1610 August 30 2007, 23:05:35 UTC

Danke. Not entirely sure about the good job though. When I thought it was just right, it was close to 175 words, 220 words when first written. The trouble is when you trim down all the words, it just comes across as a documentary, bcoz you have to leave out a whole lot language, words which describe the atmosphere, sentiments, etc. :( But yeah, therein lies the challenge. I would be lying if I said all posts on that community are as abrupt!

anupma August 31 2007, 12:46:42 UTC

WOW! This is so well written but it is the idea that startled me.

mona1610 September 3 2007, 04:53:07 UTC

Thanks Anu. I think these short stories are an nice outlet for the mad ideas running through my head. Should work on the content tho'.

ts_m September 2 2007, 20:52:32 UTC

Interesting, am thinking, how u hit upon the theme though. But it's a nice one, must say.

mona1610 September 3 2007, 04:40:34 UTC

Sometimes someone on 100_words specifies a theme and people pick it up.. I think the last one was 'Time Traveler'.... but even when I was thinking about that idea, someone from the future returning to past, the story panned itself out in this sequence.. so I just let it grow and chucked the original theme completely. :D