I posted a while ago about how a few months ago I went a little bit crazy. After I had realized that, I realized that I had shut down and stopped dealing with anything. I think I may have said something to that effect. Now, I am making myself feel again. And it lets the bad crazy out a little bit here and there, which I try to only let happen ( Read more... )

A few months ago I went a little bit crazy. I'm realizing now just how crazy I actually went. I had a lot of trauma happen in a very short amount of time, and most of that was very tragic. And I... stopped. I withdrew from life, and wasn't dealing with anything. There were a few people that I withdrew from, too, and I'm sorry if you were one of ( Read more... )

People need to stop judging me ( Read more... )

It's odd how people grieve. It comes in waves... one moment, one day, one week, I'm fine, then the next, I'm falling to pieces. Then back to being numb... And so on. I know that it's because the human psyche can't really handle everything all at once, so it breaks it up into manageable bits... or however you want to describe it. I wish I could just ( Read more... )

So. Following putting my cat down in August, my friend Jesse passing away in September, I have yet another one to report. Just the icing on the cake ( Read more... )

*sigh* oh but how I hate girl brain. "I don't really want to be with you, but I don't want you to be with anyone else. But I kind of think you're with this one person, and I want you to be happy. But I don't really want you to be with this person. But I don't want to be with you ( Read more... )

I believe that it is out there. The person I am looking for, the life that I want. I believe it is out there. And screw you if you say that the type of person I'm looking for doesn't exist. It does. I've seen it. And I will find it for myself. I will not just settle. I can't... I can't *not* believe that what I want so badly doesn't exist for me. ( Read more... )

I walk into a new halloween store downtown to look around at what they have. I walk downstairs to the adult size costumes. We're all wandering around just looking at everything, not seriously at all.... and the worker directs me to the plus size section of the store. *sigh* I know I'm plus size. I don't need to be told that by a halloween store

I need to get out of this headspace I've been in. It isn't healthy, and it certainly isn't helping all the other complications in my life right now ( Read more... )

I don't know where I'm going to live. I was going to be moving in to an extra room in Jesse and Bethany's house, but now that Jesse has passed... I don't know what's going to happen. I totally understand if Bethany doesn't want me to move in, now... though I don't know if she'll want or even need me to move in to help with money and the baby. I ( Read more... )