I think people should be able to discuss what they want to discuss, and if they feel they need to do it in a locked comm. they should be able to do that. Copy/pasting comments from other comms., locked or not, is bullying, as far as I'm concerned
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Yeah, I don't know what to do about the booting out thing. I've only been in the fandom since January 2011. From my point of view, more blame goes to the nanny comm for c/ping in the first place. If they let others alone, none of this would happen. At least that's how I see it from my limited perspective. I'm really sorry you were kicked out. You're right, it doesn't seem to help, does it? The asshole is still there or will get in somehow
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The mean nonnies could be argued to have the biggest hand in this problem, and believe me I'm not defending their actions, but like the old saw goes, two wrongs don't make a right. Lashing out at others when you're hurt may be human nature, but it's not a nice thing to do. I think it's a slippery slope to start down the path of saying what that person/group is doing is worse than what that person/group is doing, if what any of them are doing is hurting other people.
All of us can only be responsible for our own behaviors. I give Adam the respect to make his own choices - god knows he could give two shits about what my opinion(or any other fan's) is of his personal relationships, nor should he. It's his life, we've all got our own to be getting on with.
You're right, it's not worth saying one is worse than the other. It's just that I feel some people are defending the nannies. That could be my mistake. When we read something, we bring our own baggage with us, and it affects how we understand what we read.
It's his life, we've all got our own to be getting on with. Amen to that.
I like it more and more that you posted this. It's nice to read all the good arguments. And it reminds me of the good times in the fandom. We still have them.
The fandom changed a lot since Adam found Sauli, or Sauli found Adam. LOL Don't get me wrong I don't blame Sauli for that. Not at all. But the crays and the hate started really hard since then. And even if I understand how protective some fans might want to be. This is not what we are here for. Adam is a grown-up man. He is a strong person. He can fight on his own.
And Adam is - even if some fans can't imagine this - a human. Sure he is mostly nice and friendly and positive, but he has some darkness inside - like we all have. He will make mistakes, he already did. We don't have to agree with everything he is doing or saying. We are here to support him and that is what I want to do.
It is good to get some things out in the open, isn't it? I for one am appreciative of the comments that people are adding here.
Most of us love Adam. We want him to succeed, in spite of all his imperfections, because he has so many excellent qualities. He has the right to make mistakes just as the rest of us do. Many of us also love Tommy for similar reasons, and many have reasons for loving Sauli. And they're all allowed to make mistakes. They're human, like us. Let it be.
It's sad to see what this fandom turned into. Bullying and hating in an anon comm is ok, but removing members who don't even want to be in a locked comm is frowned upon.
Fandom should be fun and this one stopped being fun a long time ago.
*sigh* Yeah, it's hard to find the fun anymore. I hate that. I love people getting along. Clearly that isn't happening and it makes me miserable, but I had to say something because in my mind the bullying is the worst part of it. It's not the only bad part, just the worst.
Imma still try to find the fun again, because I'm sappy like that. :D <3
*tired sigh, eyeroll* Agreed, entirely. I myself am guilty of rooting around in fandom_wank, but at least they're honest with their mocking and don't touch issues/the likes and dislikes shown in private comms. It's actually in their rules to not bother with private posts, mostly because they're against trolling in the places they post about; I'd be disappointed in someone who would join a private comm just to see the wank and make rude comments. I like Lambert but not hardcore in his fandom to join comms or groups, whatever, so I wouldn't bother getting nosy--or outright morbidly curious--enough to join, even with-OUT mocking. None of my beeswax, basically.
I was shocked to hear of that brawling too (my mom's a hardcore fan, lol!) and agree that *perhaps*, just MAYBE, a relationship like that shouldn't be condoned... unless they make public apologies and go through counseling, shutting up about them and not perpetuating the idea that they're SUCH a happy couple (or really, let's face it--their domestic abuse might get someone hot.
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Oh honey honey, stay out of Adam fandom wars, it's fucking amazing. /o\
I heard that fandom_wank doesn't permit c/p from locked comms, so that works for me. I understand that people like to wank, or to read wank. In general it's pretty harmless, IMHO.
As for the brawling, see, you have pointed out the very problem Adam has now. Millions of people know about him and his boyfriend fighting and getting jailed. Relatively few know he has a single out! If your relationship isn't stable enough to avoid drunken brawls and jail-time, then it's probably going to get in the way of your career. JS.
Nice post. It is sad but also status quo for this fandom. It's on it's third nasty anon com. Nothing changes. Not sure why there is a debate. Take something from a locked com, post it in a public one with user names and then proceed to ridicule said person and post anonymously? No question, you're an asshole and a bully. Period. No debate
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In agreement. For those who go there for news or some berting, great, please enjoy that.
Why should Anons even care what anyone else thinks anyway? How does it affect them or their fandom activity? Great questions. I don't know the answers. I only know that my own fandom activity is to enjoy fanfic and squee over gorgeous guys. Plus this fandom is the FIRST one for me where there are actual photos/videos of them snogging. Totally unique in my experience. No wonder I got hooked. Well, that and the fact that Adam and Tommy are gorgeous and talented and sweet.
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All of us can only be responsible for our own behaviors. I give Adam the respect to make his own choices - god knows he could give two shits about what my opinion(or any other fan's) is of his personal relationships, nor should he. It's his life, we've all got our own to be getting on with.
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It's his life, we've all got our own to be getting on with. Amen to that.
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The fandom changed a lot since Adam found Sauli, or Sauli found Adam. LOL Don't get me wrong I don't blame Sauli for that. Not at all. But the crays and the hate started really hard since then. And even if I understand how protective some fans might want to be. This is not what we are here for. Adam is a grown-up man. He is a strong person. He can fight on his own.
And Adam is - even if some fans can't imagine this - a human. Sure he is mostly nice and friendly and positive, but he has some darkness inside - like we all have. He will make mistakes, he already did. We don't have to agree with everything he is doing or saying. We are here to support him and that is what I want to do.
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Most of us love Adam. We want him to succeed, in spite of all his imperfections, because he has so many excellent qualities. He has the right to make mistakes just as the rest of us do. Many of us also love Tommy for similar reasons, and many have reasons for loving Sauli. And they're all allowed to make mistakes. They're human, like us. Let it be.
Peace bb <3
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It's sad to see what this fandom turned into. Bullying and hating in an anon comm is ok, but removing members who don't even want to be in a locked comm is frowned upon.
Fandom should be fun and this one stopped being fun a long time ago.
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Imma still try to find the fun again, because I'm sappy like that. :D <3
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I was shocked to hear of that brawling too (my mom's a hardcore fan, lol!) and agree that *perhaps*, just MAYBE, a relationship like that shouldn't be condoned... unless they make public apologies and go through counseling, shutting up about them and not perpetuating the idea that they're SUCH a happy couple (or really, let's face it--their domestic abuse might get someone hot. ( ... )
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I heard that fandom_wank doesn't permit c/p from locked comms, so that works for me. I understand that people like to wank, or to read wank. In general it's pretty harmless, IMHO.
As for the brawling, see, you have pointed out the very problem Adam has now. Millions of people know about him and his boyfriend fighting and getting jailed. Relatively few know he has a single out! If your relationship isn't stable enough to avoid drunken brawls and jail-time, then it's probably going to get in the way of your career. JS.
I hope things are going great for you bb <333
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Why should Anons even care what anyone else thinks anyway? How does it affect them or their fandom activity? Great questions. I don't know the answers. I only know that my own fandom activity is to enjoy fanfic and squee over gorgeous guys. Plus this fandom is the FIRST one for me where there are actual photos/videos of them snogging. Totally unique in my experience. No wonder I got hooked. Well, that and the fact that Adam and Tommy are gorgeous and talented and sweet.
Thanks for weighing in. <3
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