I'm so tired. Physically I'm beat, mentally I'm drained and emotionally I'm losing it a little. I'm tired of working, being home, of people as well, and just everything. I just might disappear for a while.

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Still struggling with dealing with things, but I'm doing what I can.

I found a bike rather cheap, apparently the owner is moving. I mean its under a thousand and he's willing to negotiate. I'm going for this one, so emailed to ask where they're are and to look at the bike. I checked out specs on the bike, and its not bad, good mpg and just needs a ( Read more... )

The tat count is at nine now and I have fifteen hours of work on me. I also have four piercings now, and also got a haircut for good measure lol. It would have been nice to have done all this with someone, but everyone was either at work, couldn't make it, asleep or going out of town. How is it that when I'm being more social and have more friends ( Read more... )

Sent home from work early, which is why I'm blogging at 5am. No clue what I'll do with the extra day. Guess I'll get car smogged, eat and see what else there is to do.

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I'm writing again. I'm actually really writing again. I just need to keep this up. It has helped me with a lot of things and if I go on my road trip, it'll be a good way to log what I do and express how I feel. I've also found that I want to express myself in other forms. I want to do music as I had planned. Nothing serious, just little files where ( Read more... )

At work, there was this epiphany I had, this moment of perfect clarity. It was a lot like this scene in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. I decided to quit, though a coworker told me to wait until the day was over to consider. But during the day, I did think about what I would do if I quit, and a road trip was one of them. I always wanted to take ( Read more... )

Of my moms possessions, there aren't many I'm keeping. Of those things, one of them is a metal trunk she kept at the foot of the bed. Its a few different colors, obviously painted over and over again time after time. The lock is missing from it and so is a handle. I decided that I'd strip it then paint it a gunmetal type color so it would look more ( Read more... )

There are certain bad habits that I think I kicked just recently. I know why they exist, and what purpose they served. The only problem was actually executing the solution. I believe I've done that. The desire behind this bad habit, is waning, if not completely gone at times. Its lost a lot of power over me and what its substituted itself for, is ( Read more... )

Fuck I was so close to snapping so many times today. Whether verbally at family, or just emotionally in general. I haven't been this mad in so so long. Most of my moms room is cleaned out, so thats good. I bought a few things. Got stuff needed at Home Depot and Walmart. Got some stuff I didn't need, but wanted at Office Max. Tired as fuck.

My Tio ( Read more... )

Today when I was driving home, and almost home too, I for some reason, began to think about my mom a lot and started to cry, HARD. Hard enough that I had trouble seeing and swerving a lot. What made it worse is that The Foo Fighters were on the radio and the line I heard was "Why did you have to die?". Shut that off. When I got home, popped in a ( Read more... )