Well those two days were really interesting and good. I got my checks from TCERA, deposited most and pocketed a few hundred. I wound up buying a few things including boots from Journeys, pants from Old Navy, shirt and pants from Anchor Blue, James Dean mug from John T's, two games and wii controller stuff from EB Games, Shirt, pants, food and such ( Read more... )

Well today was a few up's and down's.

Up-Someone at work bought me lunch.
Down- I had to go get his lunch up front and two others as well, resulting in me having to remember three very specific orders for the same food, carry it back, and figure out change.

Up-My car wasn't hot inside when I drove it home.
Down- That was because when I got to work and ( Read more... )

The yard sale is going to be smaller. My aunt wants to go through my moms stuff before I sell anything. She's willing to buy some things as well. So that reduces the yard sale size dramatically, though wasn't sure it would do well anyways. I also begun the process of getting some of my mom's assets into my name. I did post about some of the ( Read more... )

I don't like this feeling building up in me. I don't like all these emotions coming out more and more often. I don't like feeling trapped, angry, helpless, any of it. I hate that I'm getting more angry with some things, and feeling depressed about memories or things I can't do anymore. I think I'll write, may help...

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Tired, so very tired. I feel it all catching up with me now. I swear I'm going to fuckin' implode soon. If I have to tell another person on the phone that my mom died, friend or business related, I swear I'm going to scream. Its getting harder and harder to supress all this shit, even at work.

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There are a lot of thoughts swirling in my head lately. Its not chaotic, just muddled. Things are constantly going one way or the other. I"m trying to make sense of it and at times, get swept up in this sea of emotions and nearly drown. I'm trying to displace myself from events, and things, in hopes that it'll be clearer. I'm reading about Buddhism ( Read more... )

It really is rather interesting at times. I sometimes wonder where the words in my head come from. I'm sure if I took the time to sit down and type up what brewed in my skull, I'd have at least two or three books made. I think I'll do that sometime actually, just sit and type. I haven't free style written in a while.

Also, was looking at bikes today ( Read more... )

7 Days until I change shifts at work

13 Days until yard sale to get rid of things of moms...

19 Days until I get my memorial tattoo for my mom

40 Days until I'm off probation

62 Days until my birthday

A lot of stuff is happening in the next two months. Theres also the transfer of my moms possessions to me, and getting checks. No clue exactly when thats ( Read more... )

Sometimes it just echoes inside my head, screaming again and again. Bouncing off one side of my skull, to the other. Ideas swirling about, eventually spilling from my mouth and seeping from my fingertips, staining the screen.

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Crap, sometimes it sucks having to live up to things. My grandma's birthday is today, so they want me there. I don't mind being there, just its last minute. Seems every family member is pulling me one way or the other to spend time with them or do some activity.

I'll probaly start working on the house next month after the yard sale or just prior. I ( Read more... )