my hearts gone through far too much in far too short a time, i can't try to understand anymore, i'm beginning to understand why a friend's ex-coworker's friend bought a wedding band so that women would leave him alone, i don't want it to get to that point but that seems to be the direction it's heading ( Read more... )

i'm sick of writing, tomorrow i'm heading to the mountains for a week or so then a quick stop at the beach, hopefully it will all make sense then

my mind's wandering again in that canyon where i left my soul, at painter springs at the top where you hesitated as i pulled you up rock to rock dragging your unwilling spirit, just a day hike that made my week and made you weep for you're cleansed now, welcome to enter my world but you refuse, a hummingbird pulled me back to reality reminding me ( Read more... )

listening to marley and hendrix and wyclef and mostly joanna pretending i'm on drugs is the only way to rationalize my behavior of security and longing female companionship for the first in a while and what i'm most certain may be the last because my skin's worn thin and the desert and mountains seem more attractive then most skirts, not sad just ( Read more... )

I was explaining to a couple of people i work with about my plans for the next couple years and the amount i anticipate i will be traveling and one of my coworkers told me to be careful traveling that sometimes you luck out and sometimes you don't, and when you do it's great, but when you don't it sucks. Another coworker of mine said, "you know ( Read more... )

get high
drink my wine
drink my whiskey
get high
you were late to work
i'm keeping the memories

Things are strange, today i had every intention of doing a ton of stuff, but snow stopped me, not having a car hasn't bugged me until now, that will be resolved shortly though ( Read more... )

i can't be home it wares me too thin, i feel obligated to go everywhere and see everyone as many times as possible and i haven't slept more then 4 hours any night since i got off work last wed. all i want is for it to be wed night i want to go say hi to my kids and lead them on a dayhike up a mountain or rockscrambling on some killer boulders i ( Read more... )

in an instant no one gets it but everyone understands i just want someone to get it for once

leaving for utah tuesday, scared shitless, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
worst case scenario: i'm back in a couple weeks
best case scenario: new home, great people, new area, a warm place to lay my head, hopefully visitors
early flight, lasvegas hotel legal hookers bright lights all way too much for my liking