one morning she woke up next to him.  it was summer and she was playing out yet another scene in which she was able to escape from her eating disorder, her monster-ridden introverted life in a bedroom full of insecurity and disbelief.  yet the scene is not dramatic (an adjective that would encompass the next 8 years). she would not let the clothes ( Read more... )

in a letter, Fitzgerald wrote to his little sister, Annabel, about how to win the love of boys: "Cultivate deliberate physical grace"...  I love that, yet I'm bitter ( Read more... )

"so we beat on, boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly into the past."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

of the what-why-why sort...  i really struggled to just get it together.  i felt incredibly happy during moments of 20 more essays graded or no sleep and cold medicine or a really great t.v. show.  yet i caused mayhem.   i'm wondering why i'm always struggling to get it together ( Read more... )

i discovered that the creators/writers of gilmore girls were HUGE buffy/angel fans.  i feel like i've found a balance in life all of the sudden - my guilty pleasures are all somewhat connected.  thank god for dvd commentary.

shakespeare tires me.
 

sad, brilliant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXiTwalPvuQ

so i'm ending things here. i have been writing sometimes as moviegoer for almost 8 years and i feel as though i should write somewhere farther away from all the past that seems bottled up here.

"…seeds are invisible. They sleep deep in the heart of the earth’s darkness, until some one among them is seized with the desire to awaken. Then this ( Read more... )

failure begins with the act of sitting down. two people, consumed with what some call love and others call disability sit there as usual. the color may have changed, of the couch or her eyes or his brow or the dog that lies beneath their gaze. and humanity can only imply that these two souls are connected, and yet so disparaged and disheartened ( Read more... )

it is in the smallest moments of indefinable joy that i actually understand what it means to hold on. to keep hold of you and all that i have. blessed are those who wait.... i keep waiting and i am still not sure what i'm waiting for ( Read more... )