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Nightmares disected
Sometimes the holes in my heart ache
And i cant help but play with them
Like tongue nervously plays with tooth
And it aches
How it aches
In loosing you.
My nightmares
Are dreams in which i realize
I've lost the people that I love
While dreaming
I loose them over and over again
And I cry with my heart every time
My mind is mean and -
Yellowstone
Can't sleep. Constant thoughts of:
Paint pots, boiling mud matter in clay color bubbles
Rocks, sitting in clear cool rivers, with trees growing on top
Bison, large beast yet somehow so peaceful just across the creek
Waterfalls, from slow mild hike or car, lifts me up as water pours down
Geysers, steamy until it's timed eruption- feeling the cool mist of ( Read more... ) -
Always feeling like I need to be more
Im only smart on paper...
Sometimes.
I dont quite think that fast
I wish i was clever
Or had more snark -
Poetry post
Obsession clouding my mind
Poisons my time
Lets start talking sunshine
Like lobotomy
Get this out of the way
Unlike rainy days
Don't return another day
Obsession leave me alone
Poisonous bone
That I pick on
Pharmacy calls
Your prescription is in
I take two now
Shut it off now.
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Lorazepam cocktails at four
Cant relax i grit my teeth
Anxiety gets the
Best, the
All of me.
Take a pill for that
Cyclical thoughts
My friends I cant
Cant open
Open up
Open up to
So hard
To relax
So i think therapist?
Cant do this alone.
I am a lousy friend.
Lousy.
I break hearts.
I am a lousy lover.
Lousy.
I am a wonderful mum.
So far so good.
Happy child
What about mama?
Needs happy too
( Read more... ) -
Helter. Skelter.
Trapped. Lost.
Cover my mouth
Cover my eyes
Hold me down
In this light
I only see shadow.
Hold me up
Open my eyes
In the light
I weep
I feel sorrow.
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No love songs
No enchantment
No hand holding bubble-gum.
Cold hard life has it's
Steely eyes on me
Cold bony hands around
My soft white neck.
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30's are harder than 20's.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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You always liked tragedy
I was a little girl
I was blind
I was a little girl
Left everyone behind
Lovers and friends
All say adieu
To this little girl
She will leave you
I was a little girl
Wild and free
I was a little girl
In my own captivity
Mistakes I made
Without apology
Sands of time
Will bury me.
I was a little girl
Thoughts in my head
I was a little girl
Selfish instead
Of patient and ( Read more... ) -
Haunting
Emotionally tense dream: woke up. Now emotionally tense. The past haunts me.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Self doubt
Can't tell my right from my left.
Stuttering more then ever before.
Decisions: what to wear? Who knows?!
Them... over there... are they laughing?
Feeling so small, ever so small.
Feeling all the faults I used to treat with vices.
Feeling they are faults instead of small parts.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Multiple timelines II
I want to live inside your skin
Behind your eyes
Vicariously experiencing multiple timelines
Time taker not traveler
I want to live it all not live it up
Give me give me give me more
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.