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An update
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
1.Conservatives
2.belief in an afterlife/god(s)
3. Life
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1.Ru getting hurt or dying
2.panic attacks
3.going back to work at hospital (medsurg)
THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN
1.to sew on sleeves
2. Maths higher than algebra
3. How to motivate myself
THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1.underoos
2. ( Read more... ) -
Born to stay
My mind is Being torn apart by itself. Everything feels wrong. Where I live what I do who I do things with what I have what I don't.
Cognitive dissonance like depression kills.
My mind slides like tires on ice.
Hitting rough patches at 45.
Play that record again, I say.
Why can't I play again?
So long to my piece of mind hello to this life ( Read more... ) -
Broken record? Break the needle.
I'm feeling dead tonight
Everybody does it
This hip thing
Death.
I want to write about rebirth in life via butterfly analogy burning hole in my insides slowly. Maybe ulcerations. Or hypochondriac? Tiny sparrows i want to fly away for the spring summer and falllllllllll down to the grown-d with a thump. Bump my head wish me dead. Attached at the hip to ( Read more... ) -
Broken
I feel broken.
I don't know how to fix this.
Maybe it doesn't need fixing.
Maybe this needs a dose of "moving on".
Moving on is expensive.
Fixing may decrease expenses.
Moving on may make me not go insane.
Fixing may lead to my demise.
So this is what it comes down to.
Money or wellness.
Worry over money vs. worry over sanity.
Sanity.
I choose sanity.
I ( Read more... ) -
Who? Whoo!
I'm feeling so down
Cause I don't know my place...
I get no takers
When I try to give myself away.
(200?, Kirk)
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I miss having friends. I mean I have friends in ssssactown............. In sactown. Not here. Nope nada zilch. Great neighbors. No FRIENDS. Quite a few friends we just have different lives now. I have a toddler. Life can't be what it was. ( Read more... ) -
Mind Yourself
I have been minding my mouth (most of) my whole life. "think before you speak" little diplomat. It was hard to be around two people, always feeling like I couldn't cater to both at once. Silly girl, like 1950's pleasing housewife. I am so much harder and opinionated and lately judgmental than you think. All you see is quiet, sweet, meek. I wish I ( Read more... ) -
The summer sets
One again night with no light, husband and child asleep. I wait to feel sleepy. I have nothing important to say.
But I was thinking about you earlier, as we were cuddling before you fell asleep. I was thinking about how I almost lost you. How at any time I could still loose you, because life is so fragile. You are so precious to me. You are mine ( Read more... ) -
Sleep on me.
So... reading the past= nostalgia. Realized d/t mon amie Mike that writing has been missing from my life for far too long. It is an old friend in paper or screen ( Read more... ) -
Back on LJ?
So I'm on bedrest d/t a complication of pregnancy and like 5 years past posting.
Everyone has scooted off to facebook (myself included). How very odd indeed.
Married, home owner, pregnant, RN.
how different?? Muy muy.
Post later? Maybe.