still waiting on my test results. can i just say that waiting SUCKS?!?!?!?!?! hopefully they come back soon. and i decided whatever the result, i'm fine with it because things were caught early enough that they can be fixed.

and my own personal victory today.....i turned away from a coldstone ice cream cupcake. i was going to eat it....not because ( Read more... )

Thanks to all of your for your kind thoughts, words and prayers yesterday! It was a pretty stressful day but I thought I would let everyone know that my test went alright. I won't get the results for a week or so but I'm doing the best I can to get through. The test itself is no picnic, let me tell ya. I spent the evening with some absolutely great ( Read more... )

i haven't been here for a  REALLY long time and i feel terrible. but i'm here tonight reaching out to all of you because i need some support. i'm being tested tomorrow for cervical cancer. apparently a couple routine tests i had done came back with mid-grade dysplasia (precancerous cells) and i tested positive for HPV. so i get to go in, lay down ( Read more... )

i read this book yesterday called "the happiness project" by gretchen rubin (highly recommend btw!) and i've been doing alot of thinking. there comes a time in everyone's life when we need to come to the realization that we are not going to be things we thought we would. like me, for instance. in this lifetime i am not going to be: rich, famous, a ( Read more... )

work still sucks. talked to the boy about it on my lunch break -- actually i cried because i'm so fed up and frustrated with co-workers. i'm exhausted from working too many hours and am looking forward to having 4 whole days off this weekend. we recognize the fact that i need to get out of here. i told him i wish i could find another job and he ( Read more... )

sometimes it seems that my work catches up to me. i sometimes feel an unbearable sadness when i'm at work - the depressing humanity is almost too much to bear. what people do to each other and to themselves gets to you when you let it. we develop a tough skin here but some days you can't help but feel. and when you feel what you're doing, it's all ( Read more... )

oof....i know i promised them weeks ago but finally here are some updated pictures of me.

( it's about darn time! )

that's how i feel i'm living these days....15 weeks post surgery and waiting for my new non-swollen life to begin. i'm more swollen than usual these last few days because i'm waiting for aunt flo to come visit. blech ( Read more... )

oh dear god in heaven it's sitting there staring at me and i can't not look at it, can't not go up to it, can't not touch it, can't not stand on it ( Read more... )

i promised everyone pictures at my 12 week post-surgery anniversary but life just got away with me. the boy is fully moved and settling in. things with us couldn't be better - we're spending most of our off time together and are planning our trip to illinois at labor day. we went to the giants game a couple nights ago and at one point he looked at ( Read more... )