I tend to get stuck in these negative thought loops, so I gotta keep some things in mind/get a mental grip on the scope of these problems
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Try not to worry so much. Even though I'm married and about to be a mom I feel like a fraud most of the time. Being a "grown up" is different than I expected I guess. Anyway, you're a good dude. And your life is not a bad one. Chin up, buddy.
Also, I have a lot of friends in their 30s who are not married/not in relationships so seriously, don't compare yourself to others! There's no pre-determined age to do anything!
Way good point. I guess I just had a bunch of people from my high school add me on facebook, and they're all married. But, in retrospect, they're all kind of boring. I'll use that to console myself.
Though, it is kind of alarming that in my stable of ex-gfs, one has a kid, one is engaged, and one is married/pregnant. Kind of alarming. But....yeah. I should be OK. :)
i think it is important to remind yourself that at least you have a job. also, that if you spent a lot less time thinking about how much you "suck" and more time actively working toward sucking less, things would be a lot easier. the hardest part is getting the ball rolling, and then it's really easy. nothing is more unattractive than someone who thinks they are unattractive and lets everyone know it. lastly, what 30 year olds do you know? there are only two people (one couple) i know between the ages of 27-32 that live in a house together, but they don't own it, and have other roommates. the rest of them are single and live in apartments.
My old radio cohost is married and owns a house. My first girlfriend is engaged and just bought a house. I know a lot of responsible-type folks.
And yeah, I should be happy I have a job.
As for thinking about how much I suck/etc, that's kind of what this thing is. I have these stuck thoughts, so I have to make sure I remember that they aren't really the case, and keep trying to improve. I try not to "let everyone know it," which is why I put it on my livejournal and am not just saying it in public. I figure people reading this have already decided if they want to fuck me or not. Hahaha.
Maybe you should think about moving. It doesn't have to be a huge move, but move closer to places/people that make you happy. Though I know you've talked about moving to Portland, so maybe you should really start to consider it. I know how hard it can be, emotionally and financially, to make a huge move, but if the place is right then it is so worth it. I mean I moved to Boulder planning on going to culinary school, but I had some pretty bad luck and still haven't been able to go. I moped around for a year because I didn't like the situation I was in. Then I realized that the only reason I was staying in Boulder was for school, and since I wasn't going anytime soon there wasn't much of a point to sticking around. So I moved to Denver. I've only been here a little over a week and for the first time in a long time I feel like I have home, not just a place to live. I'm happy and life seems so much better. I actually want to go outside and do things, and I don't mean just going to shows. I want to walk or bike around, meet people and have
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Seriously. It's like, let's say there's some scheduling program at your job that you use to keep track of your appointments. And let's say you still haven't really figured out how to use it after 4 years. You'd be fired from like, any job on earth, right? Well, any OTHER job on earth. We keep our retards here forever and just force me to fix all their mistakes because they refuse to learn.
Dude, there was this waitress at work that lasted like 4 days THANK GOD, but she asked me 5 times (literally... and that was just ME, I'm sure she asked other people too) how the tables were numbered. My answer the last three times were "In order."
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http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-be-ugly-by-accident/
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Though, it is kind of alarming that in my stable of ex-gfs, one has a kid, one is engaged, and one is married/pregnant. Kind of alarming. But....yeah. I should be OK. :)
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lastly, what 30 year olds do you know? there are only two people (one couple) i know between the ages of 27-32 that live in a house together, but they don't own it, and have other roommates. the rest of them are single and live in apartments.
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And yeah, I should be happy I have a job.
As for thinking about how much I suck/etc, that's kind of what this thing is. I have these stuck thoughts, so I have to make sure I remember that they aren't really the case, and keep trying to improve. I try not to "let everyone know it," which is why I put it on my livejournal and am not just saying it in public. I figure people reading this have already decided if they want to fuck me or not. Hahaha.
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