watching the world pass me by as i sit on my porch swing just looking out wondering where i'm placed. I'm moving in slow motion while the world is speeding up. I like it here, i'm not ready to leave. i step out into this fast paced world un-prepared and i lose my balance and fall. I hit the ground hard and lose the idea of why i thought i was ready ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in class wondering how long this day will be. I've tried being nice to Juleah, but i just can't be her taxi. I've hinted by telling her, "maybe you should stay the whole day at school" or "you should start looking for someone else to get you to work becuase i'm not gonna be able to if i get a job and i really need a job". It makes me ( Read more... )

for those of you who actually read my journal and get mad at me without leaving comments...guess what...i put it in here for a reason. I wanted you to find it. I just never wanted to tell you to your face, because i wasn't sitting through your bullshit telling me how horrible i am for thinking that. Well damn it, i....don't....care ( Read more... )

Butterfly position with padding slid on carefully. Weight limit of about two hundred and fifty pounds. A soft, furry outside with a normal fabric inside. Red and black, with the silver frame. Oh so comfortable. Any position in my chair feels just right. Nothing can go wrong in my chair, unless i lean back too far and it folds up on me. Never ( Read more... )

I released everthing i've been hiding from brandon earlier. It hurt but i'm not letting it take over. Not this time. I'm stronger and smarter to be that dumb to let something that i knew would happen take over my emotions. I'm ok now. There isn't a thing i could want to change about myself, because i'm done changing. I'm not so flamey, i'm working ( Read more... )

I wish people would just help me out by telling me what is wrong with them. It makes me sad to know they they are sad. I'm a good person, i just wanted to help...

RUN!

Brandon and I got in a really large fight and basically i told him everything that i usually couldn't tell him because i'm too afriad of what he might say in response. But i got it out to him. Luckily, to my surprise, he also felt the way i did. It's too late. He's on his way to roanoke to see kris' brother Kieth and they are prolly hooking up ( Read more... )

I look around my room and see all of your faces, with the smiles that we shared as we talked. The group, the dancing, talking, laughter, movies...everything. Come home to me. Come back everyone. I want to see the smiles on you'lls faces. We had so much fun. I miss all of you. Debbie, with your cheery attitude and dancing to Aaliyah-Try again. You ( Read more... )

God i'm having a good day today. This may sound horrible but now i'm glad i didn't go with brandon. I slept until 11 am. I watched 3 movies. Played on the computer doing literally nothing. And talked on the phone. That's it. I'm so loving it. But i can't wait until i get back on the road with brandon again. I wish he would just come over with ( Read more... )

The more i grew closer to him, the harder the pain got. It wasn't him causing it, i was causing it on myself. Believing that i could have the impossible. How stupid am i?! I thought that his love would make me free, make me smile, make the pain go away. Fate led me to feel more pain then ever this time. Because this time, i pulled away in fear of ( Read more... )