Mission Accomplished

Transcription of Dubya’s acceptance speech.


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YO AMERICA…


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GO [insert name here]!!!


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HOW TO BE A COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE

Step 1: Compassionately attend a Bush rally

Step 2: Compassionately sign a loyalty oath so they let you through the door

Step 3: Compassionately remove any unwanted protestors from the rally by grabbing them by the hair and pulling them out.


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Karaoke with Cheney


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Leaked Transcript of Arnold Schwartzenegger’s Speech to the RNC on “People of Compassion” Night


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Hallelujah!

It’s Raining Money!


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Brothers and sisters. Fellow pinkos and future commies. Black, white, brown and bat alike…

The time for revolution is now!We can no longer sit back and idly listen to empty promises from career politicos. They lack the courage of their convictions. We need real leadership from those who aren’t afraid to stand up for what is right in this world ( Read more... )

POSITIVELY PISSED

Transcription of Bill Clinton’s Speech to the Democratic National Convention


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Straight and Narrow

Transcript from an alternate universe

Senators Orrin Hatch (R-UT), Rick Santorum (R-Penn) and Wayne Allard (R-Colo) console themselves after the Senate votes to block the Federal Marriage Amendment.

Hatch: Dammit. I can’t believe the Federal Marriage Amendment was shot down before it even made it to a final vote!

Santorum: ( Read more... )