if you live in california you know already: it is pouring. i am at rainbow grocery this afternoon, having copped a ride there off aaron, my roommate katherine's boyfriend, and am already damp just from the walk from apartment to car and car to store. i'm handling some roma tomatoes when i hear an announcement: all available maintenance personnel ( Read more... )

i have lost my future, and the past slaps my cheeks like an angry wind, relentless. the future was never mine to lose, i must remember that. we never own our futures, only hope for them. losing hope, however, is devastating ( Read more... )

new years eve...things have been strained between my gf and me, or i perceive them to have been. i tell myself my mind is playing tricks on me, that i need to trust trust trust not doubt doubt doubt. i have a habit of creating self-fulfilling prophesies for myself, after all. we have been apart for 10 days and that is always difficult. i can ( Read more... )

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she says that sometimes she just wants to die, and Elissa immediately interrupts, "don't say that ( Read more... )

My livejournal writing is very sporadic and varying in its honesty. I don't know if I will ever do it as well as I once did again. I'm not even writing in paper journal or book where I write bits of fiction I hope to develop into coherent stories or plots or something lately, so I don't know what to tell you. The writing I do is mainly grant ( Read more... )

even if the beer is in a fancy glass. who knew ( Read more... )

today i had a very "san francisco" (read: surreal) morning. odd things always seem to happen to me waiting for the 26-valencia. this morning i wandered over to the bus stop around 10 after 8 in the morning. as i waited at the curb, i couldn't help noticing a heated discussion under way over at the bus shelter ( Read more... )

i spent the weekend in san diego, my mind absorbed with such important matters as when to turn over to make sure i tanned evenly, what color to paint my toes, and whether there are any decent cherry-flavored alcoholic drinks to order at the bar ( Read more... )

i'm putting aside the girlfriend reading question for a minute to get on to the other aspects of my life. don't get the wrong idea: it is still an unresolved issue!well, it's official: my little brother is getting married, and despite a small misunderstanding about the proper role of one's sister in one's wedding, i've been officially asked to be ( Read more... )

my fabulous gf, Patty, who is making us platanos while i waste time on the internet (i made dinner earlier, for all those people about to start hating out there) just walked in and caught me *gasp* updating. although we've been together over a year, she didn't know until 5 minutes ago that i had a "blog." (ok, so given the infrequency and ( Read more... )