I finally called the audition line for the Lusty Lady. They say curiosity killed the cat, but this kitty has to find some way to make more money while working less hours, and I've been thinking about this A LONG time anyway. Now I just have to wait for them to call back. Why am I nervous? I get naked in front of people alot...for a girl with so ( Read more... )

So I had this very long post written about what happened this weekend, and then I decided that somethings are just better left on paper and then unread. At least for now. I need time to hold it all and really reflect. That being said, I feel like I may have done the thing i needed to do in order to get my life rolling again. It was incredibly hard ( Read more... )

oh that's it ( Read more... )

My stomach settled quickly this afternoon, thank goodness. Thinking about nourishment, my physical body, self care, rest and the importance of following my gut(s). My grandmother (Fathers side) died of septicemia after her intestines exploded, my father had ten inches of his small intestine removed after the docs found it filled with cancer, his ( Read more... )

feeling really, really weird about the photo of her on a certain daddy's motercycle, knowing there is more then a 20 year age split involved...i've never been interested in age or concerned with it, but i dont know if I trust all the motives involved. B knows I know this girl, in fact i'm pretty sure i introduced them when we were all at the bar ( ( Read more... )

It's been a month since you died. I still feel you with me, and I feel like you're helping me figure out what happened to you, but now I'm left with no way to prove what I know. How do I prove what he did to you? I fucking hate this.

You turn away from me in the dark again, I roll over onto my side and try to hold what's inside, keep it from spilling out. It's true, you can't compete with a dead girl, and no, I don't think you should try. But don't you dare blame her for this, don't tell me that this is because it's always been her. You've been turning away for months and ( Read more... )

The first girl I ever kissed, the girl I went to freshman orientation in high school with in our matching collars and black nail polish, band t-shirts and too much makeup, is married to some random shaved head air-force dude. They've both found Jesus. It's terrifying. It's not that marrying some random dude or finding Jesus is that terrifying, it's ( Read more... )

So I finally had a dream with you in it last night. We were moving your things, you and I. There were alot of people around I didn't know, but that wasn't really an important detail. We didn't talk about anything specific, but you were packing to move and I was helping you. We weren't fighting, but you did tease me about all the 'stuff' I had left ( Read more... )

What do I do with this? Where do I put it? This can't happen, this couldn't happen (but it did). You're gone, I know this because I felt you leave, watched you as you slowly stopped breathing, watched as the person I love left the room, floated up through your body until there was nothing but the feeling of your cold palm pressed against my cheek, ( Read more... )