I am so tired today from not getting much sleep. My brain is moving kind of slow today, but its a good thing. I feel more serene in my mind than I have in many years. The cloud that seems to afflict my thinking at times with so many different unwanted, or should I say surplus thoughts has lifted to some small extent. The diminutive amount that has ( Read more... )

In peoples lives, sometimes things will just snap into place for them. Maybe not for any real clear reason or purpose. The things in and around the life just become clear to them in one pristine vision ( Read more... )

to let someone in is so very scary and yet such a rush all in the same, but the hardest part about this. Is, who should i choose to let in and who to not let inside. Can they handle the depths that are me. Will they fear the willingness to give my life for them...

Someone that has been out of my life for some time now, i can't help but miss them so much. I Miss the long conversations we would have about nothing that made sence at all. So many more things i want to say right now, but just no right way to say it. I just miss her.

Some times I just want to be so fucking rude and not care about hurting someones feelings. To just tell the to F*** off and to swallow, not spit. would be so good, but i'm just not that harsh. Just sometimes i really wish i was. Well all this drama in my life that has been going on. I hope its over now. They have many other distractions to keep ( Read more... )

I feel like i'm floating through this world, like a balloon with no string to tie it down or keep it home and safe. I hear everyone speaking about so many thing, but i hear no real words coming out of there mouths. I see people walking to and from, but all that i see are empty shells walk around. Not really knowing what is going on around them ( Read more... )

Well i called out of work today, because if how crappy and tired i feel. I tried to sleep as much as i could so far today. I think its around 12 hours of sleep almost now that i have gotten.

I hate knowing something isn't enough. That i'm not strong enough (emotionaly) or that love is just not enough. Something I have started to give up on is Love being enough. I left work today early while i'm still in training, because i coudln't take sitting there and feeling like i do right now. I just want to get sick all the time and food doesn't ( Read more... )

Some people just don't understand me at all. When i'm hurting i just want to be left alone, even if the one thing i want most in my heart is to talk to that person or what ever. I will cause my own self pain enough on my own. I tend to like to cause myself pain i think. When i know they are someone just checking to see, or something dumb like that ( Read more... )

I have been getting sick all after noon since i tried eat some food. It didn't feel to go be yacking it all up. I hate emotions sometimes!!! I just want to flip them all off and be numb at times. It would be so much simpler that way...