i almost forgot about this.

if anyone comes across it, i'd hate for them to think i offed myself.

so if you do come across this and see all the horribly depressing things that i said before, know these things:

-i'm rarely sad these days
-i think a lot better of myself than i did before
-i still love 2 people very much

I wish I weren't alive today.

I'm so impatient. Maybe this hasn't cycled through as of yet. I'm not going to push the issue, b/c that's just not the way to do it. I've gotta be calculating, I suppose? I will wait a while. I can't just slip out of mind, though. But I don't know what else to do. We've gone 4 months before. That was an extreme, there was a couple 1 monthers. ( Read more... )

Yes, I am moving on with my life. Yes, I am trying to let go. Yes, I know it's for the best.

I would have liked to have started over. Maybe we can someday. That might be fun.

I'm making you a mix cd.

Dumb, I know.

I'll never give it to you I'm sure.

It will be the saddest mix of all time.

Hilary was still asleep when I left. I kissed her for the last time. Through that hair. She had cut it though I violently opposed it. It was nowhere as flattering as it had been long. She was still a nice person. Nice person, bad haircut ( Read more... )

I have no right to think these things or say these things or feel these things ( Read more... )

How do you love someone you don't even know?

That's impossible, right?

I'm the crazy one though, and I know that.

sometimes things happen for a reason. i had put all of these quotes here. things that i had even promised not to share. but i had made them sound hilarious by running them through a translation engine twice. they were hilarious.

they were just too prove to myself that somethings were at least for a second real.

i was a best friend. i was a hot ( Read more... )

there are a lot of people who i'd like to tell what's up to. but i never will. i'm a fucking coward. i seriously wish i could say that you are an asshole but i could never do it.

so i should shut up about it already.