Mom is gone. It has been barely 24 hours. I can't feel anything. I feel like there's something wrong with me. Why am I so "strong". I should have to be peeled off the floor. I don't understand. I think maybe it's a bad dream and I will wake up.

Wake me up.

I can feel my heart beating in my face ( Read more... )

It's been a strange month or so. Pat and I broke up the middle of December. I didn't see him for two weeks, then December 29th, I stopped by to get some stuff. I ended up hanging out a while, helping him to yard work because he said his brother went nuts on him when he saw the house in its disrepair. So, as I usually do, I stuck around and ( Read more... )

I just have a few minutes. I'm at work finishing up lunch. I'm more confused than ever really. I'm in love with a man that is so confusing. Patrick Osmolenski, you blow my mind! Last night, after Thursday him throwing me out (after I found something undesirable... he got mad at me...), last night he texted me at 8:30 pm and asked if I was ( Read more... )

So Pat wants to be friends. He says I'm his best friend and doesn't want to lose that. I can understand, because he really was my closest friend over these past two years that we were together. Last night he asks me to come over and play some games. I went over at about ten I guess. We played some games of Guitar Hero and whatnot. He gets ( Read more... )

Right now I just feel the need to vent ( Read more... )

I'm so alone even though I'm constantly surrounded by people. Too many people. Constantly.

...confused.

So, Art (my step-dad) has open-heart surgery tomorrow. God, I hope it all goes well ( Read more... )

Today (or an hour ago) was Pat's 25th birthday. I went with him to the realtor's to talk about houses he's looking into. I went with him up to his dad and mom's graves up in Gallitzin, too. It was so snowy and blustery. It was strange how in Altoona it was sunny, then when we got up there it was just like a winter wonderland. It was sort of ( Read more... )