I'm having trouble putting into words exactly what I'm feeling.  The only way I can really put it is that things  really suck.  I just want her back.  I miss her so much.  I still can't believe she's gone, but she is.  There's nothing I can do about it.  I can't help but be angry and sad and hate everything.  I'm tired of being here, always ( Read more... )

I'm not ok with how quickly this term is flying by...The biggest stress in my life right now (school-wise) is this paper for Senior Seminar...I won't be at ease until Tuesday, when the final draft is due.  I'm frustrated wtih how slowly I'm progressing and worried about being able to finish in time, but the work always gets done...so, it will ( Read more... )

My priorities are obviously more than a little skewed since I'm more worried that I'm going to be remembered as a gloomy bitch instead of focusing on what really matters - that i'll have a degree.  I realize that was an incredibly long, poorly-constructed sentence, but oh well.  I wish I were better at handling stress and pressure.  It's bogged me ( Read more... )

I apologize in advance if you happen to read this after having already read it somewhere else, i.e. myspace, facebook, etc...but I'm so excited about this.  I'm having one of those moments where you feel like shouting on rooftops.  haha ( Read more... )

So true, John Lennon, so true.  I can't sleep; therefore, I write.  bah.  Break's going ok, but I haven't tackled much of the work I have to do yet.  Got in a car accident today, which sucks majorly because it's probably going to cost a bundle to repair and I'll be without a car for at least a few days.  I have excellent timing.  I was really ( Read more... )

I wish I were better at a lot of things and better overall in a lot of ways.....but all i can do is keep going and work to improve, right?  

So, I'm at home for the weekend.  Really wasn't looking forward to it, especially since my car wouldn't start and I had to get it jumped (again.  [this time at least it was my fault because i left a light on.  silly me.  oh well.).    i didn't get home til 9:30ish last night, and i was really sad and depressed so i just sat and watched Dead Poets ( Read more... )

I'm fucking up and falling apart.  I need to pull it together.  Where is my mind?

I've had lots of thoughts in the back of my mind lately, so I figured it was time to let them out.  The first few weeks of the term were quite rough for me.  I was very depressed, spent days at a time holed up in my room because I didn't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything, and I've already missed quite a few classes.  Things are ( Read more... )

I hate that I have to be numb in order not to draw attention to myself and my inability to handle my problems.  Yeah, I'm going through a hard time.  Same old shit as before with grieving added on top of it.  But everyone's got problems.  I feel like such a loser.  I'm taking 14 credits (I was at 18 but dropped a class) and not really doing ( Read more... )