it blows my mind that people wanna try to get inside my tired head

[vivian]

Ha. Spoke too soon yesterday.

Sometimes I wonder if there's some kind of power or principle or something shoving us around. Yeah, don't ask about loup-garou theology, it'd take me a month and a half to even tell you enough of the stories for us to have a place to start, but, you know? Sometimes things are too much of a coincidence for you to

Comments

[jcalanthe]

I'd love to hear more about loup-garou theology personally, if you felt inspired to share any stories.

For me, it can be tricky to share parts of myself with someone who doesn't share them - there's the fear that they won't accept me, but there's also the fear that they'll treat me like a bug under a microscope. I don't want them to like me in spite of thing x, but I also don't want them to like me only because of thing x either, you know?

Smelling right is an important thing, and not something I'd take lightly. But also, it's a little weird that he chased you for so long (assuming human rules of conduct). If someone is running away from me, I generally take that as a sign they don't want to talk to me at that time...

Glad you're still posting - you're in a rough spot, and I wish you luck in figuring out how to handle it.

[vivian]

It's hard for me to know what normal human rules of conduct are! I can usually guess, but sometimes I'm really wrong, and I've learned not to count on what I think is right.

And yeah, I know what you mean about that kind of conflict. It's nice to know I'm not the only one!

[farasha]

I think probably the biggest difference between loup-garou customs and human customs is that the loup-garou sounds like it's very pack/group-oriented. Humans are individuals. We might be social individuals, but we're still individuals at heart.

I guess it seems strange that Aiden would chase you for so long because it sounds like something a stalker would do, not something a prospective friend (boyfriend?) would do. It's just a little creepy to a human. And as an American especially, he should know better than to chase a woman he barely knows. If an American woman being chased falls and hurts herself, she'll probably sue for medical damages :p

[docrailgun]

I still think that maybe he's a test. A test to see if you can transcend the pack mentality... to see if you want something besides just day-to-day survival.

[vivian]

I wonder if you're right. But if it is a test, what would mean I passed?

[airforcegrrl]

You've answered your own question. Stop whining and make a change.

[vivian]

I just don't want anyone to get hurt because of something I did. Or didn't do. Not again.

[sara_at_guelph]

do you still think what happened to your family is your fault in some way? Whatever it was that happened, that you may or may not have done, it was colliding cultures and blind fear that killed them thats all.

[epiceneone]

The nature of life and death is the cycles and seasons of love, happiness, and sadness that binds all the moments inbetween together.

S.

[spilledxperfume]

You had an instinct when he tried to chase you. I bet if you think about it, you'll know why you ran. And when you figure that out, you'll know whether or not your instinct made sense.

[vivian]

I don't even know why I ran. Maybe it was because he was chasing me? Instinct is a really powerful thing, and ours is usually to run when someone starts to chase.

But is that a good instinct, or in this case, is it working against me?

[spilledxperfume]

My Literature prof last semester made us all sit by ourselves for an hour and "just be." It sounds kind of corny, but it's a good way to think about all the things in your head and get them sorted out. Take some time to think about what was going through your mind when he started chasing you.

[angelus_luna]

If you run from Aiden, that won't protect him. Whether you are there or not, if he's that interested in learning about the loup-garou he will continue to pursue it even without your knowledge. And considering what you have said, if he keeps searching he *will* find answers and prehaps not the ones that will leave him breathing.

[vivian]

I hadn't thought of it that way. You're right -- I don't think he's going to stop looking, and if I stay there with him, I might be able to help somehow. Something else to think about...