It was too goddamn early. It was 7:40. On a Saturday, this was way too goddamn early. And hell, for the last several weeks, every day had been a Saturday ( Read more... )

Disclaimer: This piece of writing is more serious. There are ammusing bits, but still, more serious than most I've written lately ( Read more... )

Outside, it was gloomy. It was always gloomy, but somehow today seemed worse. His mother told him there would be days like this- days where everything would go wrong. Days when your character would be tested. Days where your sister would be kidnapped by a Machiavellian forest mammal. He didn’t listen. He never listened ( Read more... )

The Baron’s plan for revenge was far from a simple plan. It was convoluted, confusing, and, on more than one occasion in it’s mechanisms, called for the suspension of several, if not all, laws of physics. Baron Von Hoppington had planned it this way ( Read more... )

His skin was white, a creamy alabaster tone that made one suspect him a vampire. His chest and legs were blemished by quiet pockmarked scars, from where he had chicken pox as a child. His mom told him to stop itching. He didn’t listen. He never listened. His hands were smooth and soft, and warm. He was always the one to turn to. Always a shoulder ( Read more... )

Let me start this off in this manner. San Juan is a dirty, dirty place. It is dirty and greasy, and everyone around you seems ready to play a rousing game of "Jump The Gringo". San Juan is, without a doubt, a city untouched by modern sanitation. Avoid it like it was the plague, or Tom Cruise's acting, which is about equal on the cataclysm scale. ( Read more... )

Allright, so looking around, I see that birds are everywhere, fat girls are wearing shorts, and ugly people everywhere are hooking up ( Read more... )

This is a new addition to my Livejournal. From now on, every monday will bring about a new post of Pokemon tips from Pokemaniac Justin Mohn. This week, we learn how to defeat your rival ( Read more... )

Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away, a distant land called “California”; there lived two very furry, brightly colored stuffed animals. Their names were Thaddeus and Moonbeam, and they were very much in love. One day, Thaddeus, being the adventurous type, suggested that she and Moonbeam go on an adventure. Moonbeam, being an exact opposite of ( Read more... )

After getting my hair cut, I am as shocked as any among you. I do indeed have eyebrows. Whodda thunk, you know?