Maybe I've been pampered. Maybe video games today are too pandering, too simple. Maybe looking back now, when I was a kid, they really were just designed to pander to a smarter, larger attention span audience ( Read more... )

It's my birthday!

And, if you read today's Penny Arcade, you will discover, as I did, that I share a  birthday with cartoonist Jerry Holkins, AKA Gabe, and we both refer to it as The Christmas In September. Really, if you just replace the word "Gabe" with "Marty" and the Tycho pinata in the last panel with one of Trench, it'd be awesome perfect.

Update: My keys are no longer locked in my car. Because my upstairs neighbor apparently knows a thing or two about breaking into cars, and did it in two minutes with a pair of pliers, some scotch tape and THE FUCKING ANTENNA  TO MY OWN CAR. That's right, my own car has an essential tool for breaking into it PERMANENTLY ATTACHED TO IT. It took him ( Read more... )

So I, I wanted to go to school, 'cuz I haven't been for a long, long time and I don't wanna fail my class but first I had to go to the store, s I went to the store and then I came home and left my keys in my ignition cause I was only gonna be a second and I thought new cars weren't supposedta lock with keys in the ignition, but the doors did lock ( Read more... )

Oh, god I love the Olive Garden. Oh, man,

Previously, I thought I LIKED the Olive Garden. But yesterday. we went there to celebrate Murphy's  new job, and discovered the ENDLESS pasta bowl special. See, the way it works is, there are two lists. One is pasta, one is sauces. And for nine bucks, (11 if you want sausage or meatballs, which are awesomly ( Read more... )

Two thoughts induced by reading Something Awful forums today ( Read more... )

I had quite a happy day, with some strange events thrown in ( Read more... )

Now Wal-Mart managers want a list of everything that gets zoned, or doesn't, and why.
No one else, by the way, just my department.
So yesterday I started way early.
What was zoned? Oh, only everything!
So bite me, managment.

Me, five minutes ago: Well, I'm a-gonna mop the kitchen floor... Mr. Mop, meet Ms. Bucket. Well, it appears that Mr. Mop doesn't quite reach the water... I'll just push it in there a little more. Get in the freaking water ( Read more... )

Well, I did it. I created a separate journal (Two, in fact!) for my news and media rants, so this will become more my personal journal, just for you all, my friends. Show an tell all your friends, and all their friends.

The Pun-tastic new title... Schneid Remarks!
There's a few posts up already, so add schneidremarks to your friends and spread the word, because ( Read more... )