I'm a time traveler. I went backwards to as close as today as I could get for the last 10 years. It's been a ride my friend....

Allow me to introduce you to the 2024 version of Peigen. Quick stats.

- I own a home with Shannon in Jacksonville, Florida. If all goes well, this is the house I will grow old in.

- Oh and we're married. Yes, this ( Read more... )

Have you forgotten me dear old LiveJournal? Do you remember the days I poured my soul into you with reckless abandon for all the world to read? Do you miss the times I posted a happy update after all of the noise?

Now you integrate with Canva? And have grown so in these last few years.

Have I also grown?

In my 35 years. That's right. I'm in my ( Read more... )

The more things change, the more they stay the same - or do they?

Am I the same?

Am I the same person who has continued this journal since I was 15?

Tonight was my last session with my counselor. Better Help will erase all my correspondence when the next counselor takes over. So I'm parking old journal entries here as a reminder of how far I've come.

"Hi there! My name is Peigen (pronounced Pagan). I'm engaged and live with my fiancé of 5 years. I work for a start up...currently in the role of ( Read more... )

Today was a good day. I didn't have to use my AK.

Like I actually own an AK. I'm not that badass.

But today has in fact been a good day.

I meditated.

I stretched.

I rode my bike.

I cleaned.

And now I work. 

Being a workaholic was easier.

I miss feeling devoted to a cause.

No matter how hollow the cause.

I grew and gained alot as a person due to Waitr

But I didn't gain anything outside of me.

The co-working friendships were light and fun but lacking substance.

No one has reached out in the time I've been gone or back.

Side of workaholism - you don' ( Read more... )

There is no right thing to do.

There is only what you chose to do and what you chose not to do. Simple.

I chose to take a step back at work to focus on my mental health and invest in myself so this is what I need to do.

Take free classes. Start writing. Do it for the fun.

While you're at it, have fun.

There's nothing you *should* be doing. 

Morning pages. This is what I'm supposed to do, right?

First thing brain dump.

I don't like dreaming. It's time to start prioritizing sleep again.

July was a great month because of the effort I put into sleep.

Falling asleep to chill tunes with sleeping medicine in my veins.

Why am I always focused on what I'm not doing?

Does this level of ( Read more... )

Creating habits start with one step. One single, solitary step. This is my step.

Stepping away from the whiskey and writing.

I've relaxed all day. Time to let the night wisdom take over.

What can I say about life?

2020 has been a year of transition and exhaustion.

I'm ready to be. To be displaced. To be free. To be clean.

We were supposed to ( Read more... )

I think I'm always trying to run before I can walk.

Start small, girl. Start small. Like real small. Tiny. Miniscule.

"So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things? One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow."

Tiny things.

What are you those tiny things?

1. Read 30 ( Read more... )