i never thought my life would end up like this.  one minute your happy and everythings fine and then next thing you know its down  the drain.  i never thought it would hurt this much and i know that you cant change the past and constantly thinking about what could have been does no good.  on the outside i look happy but on the inside i cry.  im now ( Read more... )

still in shock of the death of a family friend  RIP Mike Sousa

im starting to lose the weight that i wanted.  i still feel shitty tho like its just not going as fast as i wanted to.  i know it takes time but its sooo hard doing it alone. like if i had someone to do it with.  i bought new jeans at aero this weekend and i was hoping that i could go down a size but i didnt get that lucky.  still a 7/8 boo but im ( Read more... )

if you really knew me you would know how hard i try to make myself happy and how difficult it is.  I can't even look at myself in the mirror.  I've been going to the gym everyday for 6 weeks and i feel nothing is working.  I have now stuck to counting calories and i feel like im becoming obsessed.  When I was little I use to have signs of OCD and ( Read more... )

so this weekend i went to CT with all my fsc loves.  it was fun we didnt get as crazy as we wanted to but oh well.  we decided to get in a small boat and go to a sand barge with our cloths on. of course the boat sank and we got soaked.  tanks phone went into the water as well.  tank and i decided we were not going to get into our bathing suits but ( Read more... )

sometimes getting my words out is just so hard.  my life seems to be falling apart around me.  one minute im fine the next i dont know if i can handle it.  i find that now im just becoming frustrated with everything.    i now find that i hate myself for buying into all the lies.  i hate that i put on 20 lbs in the past year and that i let the ( Read more... )

 i was doing so well moving on but this week i just lost it.  idk if it had to do with the comment josh made to me last week or not but it really made me feel down about myself even tho i know im better than that.  it made me wonder if anyone else thinks i deserve this.  i hope now no one deserves to be played and lied to.  am i really that ( Read more... )

words can not describe how i feel.  im so hurt and lost and confused.  how could the one person in the world i love the most tell me they never even loved me.  it cant be true u cant hide the love i saw in his eyes.  i feel extremely lost how could my perfect life fall apart right in front of me.  i havent eaten in three days i cant im literally ( Read more... )

ever wish you could see the future....evan just a small sight just to make sure everything your going through is worth all the stress and tears.  i cant imagine my life any different if i had to start over from this point on i dont know if i could do it but i just dont like feeling so insecure about what the future will bring.  i never really ( Read more... )

so i feel like my life is getting a little better but i have awful insecurities lately and i don't know why.  i don't understand why all of a sudden i feel this way but i do.  i feel insane because i know i have no reason to but its hard to regain my trust on everything even for myself.  i think i only have all these feelings because i am seeing ( Read more... )