all men should be shot, end of story

i want to know that jasmines father is in jail, or completely miserable right now. I cant bear to know that he is having the time of his life while i am eating bagels for dinner because i cant afford to support the child that we made together. The child that he was supposed to help me raise, not abandom me with. To know that he is rotting in the ( Read more... )

Its friday night, i spent the whole day being excited about going out tonight. Tomorrow Edison is going to miami to go and see his grand parents, it just so happened that the day that they are coming had to be on my bday. So, we were at the movie theatre right? and edisons mom calls and we have to leave and go pick up her car, because she needs ( Read more... )

i went to sleep around four. drunk, scared and lonely. Jen left last night, we said good bye and we hugged and cried. About five minutes later you called telling me that you were going to your ex girlfriends house and that you would come back. I went on the computer, i did everything i could to try and keep my mind off everything, i walked ( Read more... )

its saturday night, two thirty in the morning and here i am sitting here, writing again. All i want to do right now is drink, or cut or do something to ease the pain, but i cant. i promised myself i wouldnt. Jenn went to miami tonight, im going to miss her, and i dont want to be alone, but i know why she had to leave. I had been trying to ( Read more... )

Im turning into an alcoholic. Last night I was in a very bad place. Mentally, I mean. I read a letter that edison and this girl wrote to one another, and it seems as though my brain has chosen to block some of it out. It didnt say anything bad, i dont think, the majority of it was in spanish. If felt as though someone had literally ripped my ( Read more... )

what do you do when the only person who can keep you from crying is the one who made you cry? I have found myself asking this question, and I have yet to find an answer. What DO you do? Yesterday I found myself pacing back and forth staring at a steak knife , asking myself what the fucking point was. I lost everyone i had ever loved in my life ( Read more... )

there are times in your life when you think your happy, when you think the depression is gone, and when you think that there is a chance that you will get better. Then, you wake up and realize , it was just a dream. I only seem to write in this journal when i depressed, confused, and when i dont have any one to talk to. Not that i dont have ( Read more... )

today was one of those days, one of the days that you take the time to re-analyze your life and wonder why you are still here. Im working and going to school to pay bills to have a car and live in a house. im going to school so i can make more money to buy things like a bigger house or a better car. what is the fucking point, is that the reason ( Read more... )

I think about my daughter i wonder if i should give her up, i cant deal with her, i feel like my life is ruined, im trying to go to school and work and pay my bills and its just fucking impossible. Yeah, so im supposebly dating edison now, am i happy now? sometimes, im not even sure. I dont trust him at all. Its sad to say that but its true, ( Read more... )