new journal:

killprettygirl

add it.

i feel like crying over it, but i dont bc i know that this is ridiculous. i heard that song and i wanted to die over and over and over again.

she made me put up the stupid fucking christmas tree. i am not in a festive mood, nor will i ever be this year.  and i want to burn that damn tree down. im sick of looking at it and its only been up a total ( Read more... )

she fucking tried to kick me out today. a week to get out, after i take finals.

and then two hours later, no its ok.

but i cleaned out and threw out my shit. i am ready for when she means it.

the most i can say is i dont know what to say.

im not allowed to go to st.louis anymore. apparently " little bitches like me dont deserve to see their ( Read more... )

i give up on today. oh yes and tommorow too. why wait til tommmorow when i could go ahead and give up now? might as well save some time. i give up. not on you, but on me and myself.

i will fix this by completely slipping under.

and wasting away.

what the fucking shit are you thinking?! why on earth are you doing this to me?! i could scream and never stop i hate the way you do! i really do i could cry cos your such a liar and how could you even say those things to me i cannot believe the extent of your deceit and its so fucked up how you run from the things i say when you know you need to ( Read more... )

in response to the weeks of constant slacking off we have decided that the best choice would be to actually study for finals.or at least making an attempt instead of blowing it off, like i would have a few weeks ago.

i had a decent day. i guess. some really shitty stuff happened to me but i guess we cant dwell. today was still one of those days ( Read more... )

everything just all of a sudden got so depressing and slightly hopeless. i dont know whats up. i dont think i even want  to now.

i feel really stupid because i never did figure out why i got sad. i still do not know. i think its because for a while my level of personal denial was high and i was strong enough to keep up the bs. now im not so sure. ( Read more... )

everything is so certaintly ok, and i am still plagued by these meddlesome conflicts that threaten to take me and everyone i know down with them. we will not let this happen.

and it is funny how things are never, ever what they seem, and this could be good or it could definitly be bad. it has been a little of both, i must say.

for some reason i ( Read more... )

the plan to ease my more petty problems and silence the perpetual boredom has come to me by severe contemplation. only if it works out will i discuss it with anyone besides my little muse, and she knows who she is.

but never fear, the rest of you will know when she and i become total label whores, and not just whores.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! all of you.

we will change all of this, things will be different. so goodbye to the days of forever mourning all. it. bores. me.  almost as much as...

haha, i wouldnt dare.

so again, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! because i still didnt figure it out?

oh please. just go ahead, do what you want. i tried to tell ( Read more... )