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back at it again
dear diary,
I feel like this might be the only place I can write things lately. My mother died in May of 2018. She went into the hospital for a more or less routine surgery just about this time of year. I still have pictures on my ipad, my new ipad of the weeping cherry tree outside that I shared with her because she couldn't look out of the ( Read more... ) -
Major life update
It's been a while since I posted. A major series of changes have occurred. So summary will have to do. A lot of changes ( Read more... ) -
Back from Maine and things have shifted again
Maine was nice. Actually gorgeous. But I had a problem while I was there. Boi. Constantly on my mind, on my text feed, chatting at the wifi access points. There was no break. The relationship got more intense. I welcomed it, fought for it ( Read more... ) -
The storm calms
Things have shifted again with Boi. We have little new to say, and I'm frustrated that text conversations are so very limited and easy to misinterpret. Several differences of opinion have been raised. And neither the phone nor texting nor letter writing has been able to fully express my wants, desires, views of matters, etc. I got an iPhone a week ( Read more... ) -
The nature of obsession. And alcohol
Today I topped my boi by text. It was hot. But it was under the influence of rum. I felt not myself and it was liberating and also disorienting. How am I not myself? How am I completely myself but give myself permission to be other than myself ( Read more... ) -
The spirit that moves in all things
Unicoi State Park, Georgia. River Cane Rendezvous ( Read more... ) -
My Boi is gone a traveling. I think she has my heart
She left a week ago today. We met at the park to say goodbye, and she bought me cookies and a card that is circumspect but clearly says how she feels about me. I fed her homemade chilli and strawberries. I cried. How can she not know how I feel about her? Isn't it written all over my face? My cunt cries out for her, my heart squeezes painfully ( Read more... ) -
Date night re-establishing with my primary
After a whirlwind romance of two weeks, I needed to reconnect with my SO. So text ban. Movie date. Hopefully some romance ( Read more... ) -
Balance?
I have the kind of romance that people leave their spouses for. And I want both. I love her. But I love him too. So I balance. Teeter totter. Bring the energy from one to the other. Pray the equation equals on both sides. Stay focused on the balance ( Read more... ) -
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Sunday we went to the beach for sunset. Romantic but exposed. Not able to hold your hand in public because of your job. Finally silver sands. You fell off the bench at the end. It made me proud ( Read more... )