5am. The moon is only half full but it seems to be glaring brighter than a full moon. And the stars in the sky seem all the brighter and not dimmed by the central lamp. On a perfectly still winters night when Orion has already risen and set and the snow is still on the ground, there seems to be a perfect beauty abounding from every direction. ( Read more... )

I've found a space. A space for quiet contemplation. A space where I can do whatever I want. And more importantly a place for ''us''. I now that I have it I thought that maybe I never wanted it. It was all bullshit. I did want it and nothing else really seems to matter anymore. I like the seclusion. I like how nobody bothers to call. I ( Read more... )

yeah you

Hey you. Yeah you. There isn't a lot of time left. I'd say 27 BLACK OUT. The stars still shine and we're both still alive. I know you'll come see me when I'm cold and alone, even if you can't now. You've watched me for a long time try to find the reasons why, until the day you became the reason why. Right now I'm probably the furthest thing ( Read more... )

I want something new. Why? Maybe because i feel old. Maybe because i sit here every night pretending to be happy and content about a wasted life. Thursday i'll go out and spend 200 dollars on clothes provided by my parents. That should help. Maybe something to go with my complexion. Maybe something expensive just to rip apart at the seams ( Read more... )

So ( Read more... )

it's officially oktobur. when the mainstream starts to show it's dark side. this year i feel a little let down in a way. spending all my time in darkened rooms and wandering around at night just makes this month less appealing. where have all the pumpkins gone? long time passing. i went to the drug store. i used to love doing that around ( Read more... )

I've spent a lot of time just trying to forget everything. In fact, I've spent so much time doing this, I've actually forgotten many things. I used to think I was an elephant. Now I just look like one. Sometimes I see pink elephants. It scares me to have forgotten what people look like. You take things for granted, like somebody's laughter. ( Read more... )

Never had I felt so loved than yesterday. All I wanted was to be alone yet people feel the need to ask for my company. I guess I can't blame them. I did everything I could to avoid people and lurk in the shadows anyway, and for the most part it worked. Halloween is coming up and I have nothing to wear as far as costumes or even clothes in ( Read more... )

let's just hope for a moment, that the individual in question doesn't follow through with this plan. it's still hard for me to understand why somebody would sell themselves to the united states government. it is not the cure all or the save all. you can make something of yourself if you really want to and you don't need to join the military to ( Read more... )