... finally. I'm sad, I'm released, I'm confused. I want to smile and cry at the same time.

I'm back from the most beautiful country the world has seen. I've been in Brazil for three weeks and too many things happened. I'll try my very best to write them all down. So let's start ( Read more... )

I'll stand up from this chair, shower, do my hair, put on some nice clothes. I'll talk to my parents like I'm totally okay. I'll drive up to Hannah's and I'll laugh and sing and party all night long. I'll drink to drown the sorrow. I'll smile at everybodys' face. I'll be called the happiest and funniest person one can know. I'll thank everyone and ( Read more... )

I'm happy. No matter what Rouven will do. Yesterday I met Jesper after a long period of trying to meet but it never worked. It's quite sad because he is my best friend. It's really tieing me into knots. Maybe there should be a special Jesper & Denise day like my Lara day. I sometimes am to busy to meet all of my friends as often as I'd like to but ( Read more... )

I'm back again! The old me fought back this self-questioning little chicken, addicted to a man. I took my time and I did it. I don't care whether Rouven is going to talk to me about all this. I'm way to good for being rejected by him. There are enough men and women to satisfy and adore me. I want to be treated like a queen and not myself be the ( Read more... )

What's the point in getting every man you want to if the one you really like can be yours - but only in a sexual way. I know I can get Rouven - well I know now. I can get him to sleep with me whenever I want. But why should he like me enough to be in a relationship? I doubt it. Maybe I've been just good enough to make Annika jealous. On the other ( Read more... )

I'm confused. Not in a normal way. I'm terribly disturbed ( Read more... )

Like you may guess from the headline - today's monday and I'm not quite sure if I'm happy about it ( Read more... )

Working out was great! I'll do it again tomorrow evening after coming back from the Frida Kahlo exhibition. I feel so slim and fit even though my upper arms hurt and today's shopping tour at some point I wanted to cry climbing steps. Beauty costs its price ( Read more... )

I feel more adult than I ever did right now. I feel like my life lays in my hands (even though my mother refused to allow my trip to Spain with a friend this summer). I'll maybe fly to Brazil on my own, visiting a friend, I had a driving lesson a few minutes ago and in about 15 minutes I'll drive to the gym. I once tried working out but I hated it ( Read more... )