I need to find a way to tone this down a bit... The somewhat strange mix of drugs and stress I'm sifting through today is making my head a somewhat crowded place to be... I don't want to go back to that now.

I thought to myself today... with everything going on, if she came back to me and fought for it, would I be willing to say no?

And unfortunately I don't have an answer. Is it too early in my life to settle down? I thought I'd be married with children by now.
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Waiting for the end to come ( Read more... )

 I'm not really clear on the direction I'm headed, but I keep telling myself it has to be better than standing still. It has to ache less. I don't want to look at my bank account going into this Vegas trip, because I don't want to know what I've done to it. I shouldn't be spending anything, but I am, and a lot- and because I refuse to say no to any ( Read more... )

"You are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you ( Read more... )

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you ( Read more... )

I'm not even sure what is real anymore ( Read more... )

It's hard to keep telling myself it's only been a week and a handful of days ( Read more... )

I'm having trouble ( Read more... )

Waiting for the drugs to kick in ( Read more... )

Just letting everyone know that so far I haven't gotten any news, other than the formal medical board coming to the decision that Temporary Retirement is the best thing for me, meaning I'll be basically a retired military member for round'about 18 months, at which time they'll reconvene the medical board to decide at that time which is best- Full ( Read more... )