I was right Shane would hurt me! I dont understand how you can say love one day then the next not even talk to the person the rest of the day....how you can promise something knowing you cant keep it. He was so horrible, I cant believe I fell for the act, only because hadnt been with a guy or talked with a guy in a year....I was a lone with nobody ( Read more... )

its getting hard lately to not engage myself in drugs....using is bad, i know this! i do! but im feeling the need to use again, i need to take my fucking piss test so i can use again! i need to do it soon! HOLY FUCK!

I have been asking myself, what exactly is love ( Read more... )

Shane makes me happy. But disappoints more I think. Being with his is the happiest I have been in such a long time, but I cant get hurt again! I cant deal with it. Shane reminds me of Jeff in so many ways, and I fell for Jeff so hard. I am affraid I will fall for Shane that much too. I cant because I cant get hurt again like that. Jeff and I had so ( Read more... )

I feel like I am slowly dying in my own skin! Like something has crawled inside me and is slowly killing me inside and out...Who am I ( Read more... )

Well this past weekend had been pretty great. Friday I caught up on a lot of my work I needed to do for school and to transfer out of here. Its been great!! Then Saturday Shane actually came and visited! He is pretty great! He brought his friend Alex, which was awesome because he is pretty cool. I mean we get along pretty well! Anyways, its weird ( Read more... )

So I dont know what color my hair is...It really bothers me! I know thats kinda werid but what can I say... Its like every color of brown you can ever imagine! So I had a dream about Jeff last night. Jeffery Ivy...isnt that really weird? So I was some where with two building in about an "L" shape and he was going to the other building I was in, but ( Read more... )

Geez been awhile. I went back home this last weekend, when I was on my way Shane text me telling me he got a hickie by a guy.....OK RED FUCKING FLAG IN THE AIR RIGHT HERE ( Read more... )

Today was almost 100% better. I don't like how life is like that. Where you have a horrible, what feels like the worst day of your life, and then the next day its almost like the sun is shinning bright, birds are singing, squirlls are trying to get laid. I mean even my art teacher was in a great mood today. I just think its weird how life can be so ( Read more... )

Somedays I wonder why I even got out of bed! So My car is broken....Dont have friends to give me a ride or anything. But I refuse to let it bother me! No Im not crying anymore cause the damn tow truck guy should be here anymore. Today just isnt my day! I will talk about my car later, but right now I cant cry anymore because that guy is on his way, ( Read more... )