i hate photocopiers. especially the ones here. most especially when i am most dependent on them.

i should be sleeping. i'm exhausted. but i'm too anxious.

then, on an unrelated note, as much as i can't figure out his game, i can still predict it.

the storm right now is extreme.

even now, with time and space, i still just don't believe i'm wrong. i don't understand how i can be. is it possible i'm just fooling myself? maybe. and if so, what the hell is wrong with me?

wow ( Read more... )

while the last week has not been what my ideal would be, it has been better than my pessimism believed. i've been feeling good, at least about that. feeling confident and comfortable ( Read more... )

i'm not happy here. and i have never felt that way before ( Read more... )

i'm in toronto. already i've left home and my family and my dog and my bed that i'd forgotten is heavenly comfortable. after the short sleep ahead, i will head out to jump on a bus and be off to quebec city. being in quebec will be lovely. i miss that old love of mine. but i may just be officially crazy to be going at all ( Read more... )

i'm feeling lost. and still sad. and fraustrated. and still just so tired.

it is nice to be home. there are wonderful parts about being home. i am grateful.

but things aren't feeling any easier just because there's been a major scenery change.

maybe if i just wasn't so tired . . .

i'm home.

we once had something so good. and now . . . just a mess . . . how did something so good become such a mess ( Read more... )

i feel completely heartbroken. and i know it's not intentional. atlernatively, it's excellent. and both are coming from honesty. but it's still heartbreaking ( Read more... )