all that has happened is i've gotten confirmation of what i already knew. but then there were contradictions to the explanations i'd given myself to try to make sense of it all ( Read more... )

suddenly the universe seems to have opened up and provided a perfect opportunity ( Read more... )

restless restless restless ( Read more... )

things are good. they really are ( Read more... )

long cyber chat with a best friend yesterday was goodness. not red wine on the couch or balcony goodness, but so needed and wonderful nonetheless ( Read more... )

while the amount of time i have left here is a constant awareness, occasionally it really hits me. and i don't even know what to do with that knowledge. because right now, i am so at home, so at ease, so happy, so delighted to be right here. and the thought of being gone from it so soon and permanetly . . . it's too sad, too much ( Read more... )

The other day I watched the movie “Love Actually”. Finally. Aaron tried to get me to watch it when I was feeling low last fall. But I continued indulging in Sex and the City and Halloween chocolate. But finally, I watched it. Lovely lovely movie. Cleverly funny, touchingly sad yet heart warming ( Read more... )

even when i'm not getting in trouble, i still feel like i am. why is that? i suspect there is some sort of response that has been ingrained in me since childhood and it may simply be something i can't change. not that it happens often anyway. but when it does, i can't shrug it off ( Read more... )

this is lovely. we are lovely. mmmmmmm . . . love it.

i'm a bit worried. but i think i'm being paranoid. or i really really hope i'm just being paranoid. i don't want this worry to be an actual concern and then be real. that would be bad. so i'm sticking with worry that's likely paranoia ( Read more... )