wondering if it's even worth it...

considering the fact that nobody is even here to notice
either way.

will the end results justify the pain it takes to get there?

so, after my mini lunchtime tantrum...
i got to sit out on the porch railing in the sunshine
and smoke my cigarettes
and drink my coffee
while singing along to the Dixie Chicks.

now i remember why i was stoked to go to my parent's for spring break in the first place.

the sky is so dark and clear tonight
and the bay is calm.
i went to the beach and i could here the bull frogs
and the tiny waves lapping on the rocks,
I looked up at orion and felt safe
it felt like home, that beach.

back at my parents house for break,
let's see how long i last this time.

apparently my dad eats shit food when my mom is gone,
but they both eat shit food anyways,
soooo i'm basically screwed.

 you know you need to get offline when you almost post your status as "i'm fucking drunk"
and then realize your mom is your fb friend
and doesnt know you drink.

this post took awhile to write, btw

 pretty sure i just wrote the shittiest evaluation ever for my class.

idgaf.

it needs to be 1 45 now.

 i have no energy to deal with anyone else's shit right now.
especially if it deals with someone related to me
that i happen to have been getting a lot closer to lately.
obviously i'm going to take their side.

and i am seriously in a mood where i could easily verbally assault someone
or take them down.
don't mess with me.

i want to leave.
right now.

i weigh 192.6 lbs.
i've lost 30  lbs in two months-ish

it's not enough.

i think i've lost the ability to spell.

what has college done to me.

 Fuck Seminar.

i'm ready for spring break.