Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh ( Read more... )

It's been a month now. Can it be possible that I love her more now than I did when we were dating? Where was this when it could have done some good?!?! All it's doing now is reminding me of how much I screwed up. I've broken things beyond repair, even if we do get back together. I'm not the man I was when this happened, and I never will be again. ( Read more... )

I'm sorry to say that the nightmares are every night.

It's not your fault, it's mine.

Like the title? It's a title of a new song that I'm writing. I like it, and yet, I hate it. Sometimes I think it's neat, the way my mind works, but most of the time it's horrible. Sometimes I just wish that I could be somebody else for a day, just to see how other people think. That way I can figure out if there actually is something very very ( Read more... )

Nightmares ( Read more... )

It only took me three weeks and three days to come to a complete realization, but I know now that I am alone. I guess what's different now is that I can feel it this time. Before, I could lie to myself, pretending that tomorrow would be better, forgetting the fact that all is lost again. I've been looking back on some of my previous entries, ( Read more... )

I can't sleep ( Read more... )

"You need help" were words that I expected to hear, and did. I'm getting help, seeing a psychologist at 11:00. Hopefully, in just one short hour, he can start to tell me what I need to hear. One thing that I do know is that if I don't tell him everything, he can't help me. I'm so afraid of doing this. One thing I've never been alright with is ( Read more... )

If not lost, then I'm definitely losing... my mind that is. I hate not having any control over my life, not being able to let my heart unclench. It's a horrible feeling, knowing that you'll have to live with your mistakes, and that although they are/were mistakes, you can't take them back. If I could have just one wish, it would be for happiness, ( Read more... )

Trust... veritas... the most important thing in the world. Not only have I broken it (for eternity, it seems), but I've killed it. Mangled it. I don't know what good this will do, if any, but it's always better to get things off your chest, to at least know you've tried. So here it goes, a list of things about us that I need you to know ( Read more... )