Comments | nicked_metal: I am not a monster

nicked_metal

I am not a monster

Dec 01, 2009 21:10

As the countdown to seeing my kids again counts down, I find myself confronting the separation and the way that the kids were treated at the time, and what I did, and what my ex-wife did. And I realise that a large part of my agenda is to prove to myself that I am not a monster ( Read more... )

Comments 17

dawnd December 1 2009, 10:36:39 UTC

Best wishes on all of this. Congratulations on getting closer to believing those things.

nicked_metal December 1 2009, 10:52:05 UTC

Thanks :D

travisjhall December 1 2009, 10:42:54 UTC

And I form a little more confidence in my own judgement, having steered away from rabid people who claim to be on the side of men, just as I have steered away from rabid people who claim to be on the side of women.

Perhaps approaching the vantage of those who believe that while there are sides in such matters, there's a problem?

nicked_metal December 1 2009, 11:04:16 UTC

But the problem is that many of the most rabid claim to be speaking for both sides. Actually choosing a side, while acknowledging the legitimacy of the other side, seems to allow for confrontation of the actual problem.

travisjhall December 1 2009, 11:25:08 UTC

When somebody claims to speak for both sides, that person implicitly advocates the existence of sides. You can't speak for two sides if there aren't two sides to speak for.

I usually find that taking sides allows confrontation with the people on the other side, rather than confrontation of the problem.

(But then, it should perhaps be noted that I am extraordinarily adverse to group-wise thinking. Many years ago, somebody actually said of me, "Travis doesn't lean towards any political party; he leans away from all of them.")

nicked_metal December 1 2009, 11:27:48 UTC

Ahh, yes. The difference between a 'side' and a 'party' is probably worth acknowledging. I think that one can approach an issue from a well-defined angle (a particular side) without having to align oneself with a party.

Thread 7

chimerae December 1 2009, 13:18:19 UTC

It's an old book, but the resource I like to shift awareness on this is

Why Men Are The Way They Are by Warren Farrell who wrote The Myth of Male Power
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Are-Way-They/dp/042511094X

Myth seems to radicalize people in such a way that they blow up at the thought of the book 10 years after reading it. WHY is more of an eye opener that changes paradigms

Social geometries are critically important to what choices really exist. Myths and projection go a long way to form and support social geometries.

chimerae December 1 2009, 13:18:50 UTC

Joy and success with your experience toward seeing your kids.

sols_light December 1 2009, 22:37:42 UTC

Yes, thank you. I am a little tired of people who try to compete in the Oppression Olympics. Yes, women do have problems men don't have, particularly in career stability with children. However, it's very infrequently acknowledged everyone has problems and issues unique to every divide society sets up. No one fits the mould and no one is supposed to. The Western ideal of dichotomies is false, yet good and evil has been the historical foundation and every side tries to declare its moral position as good ( ... )