I think I may have just recognized a manic episode for the first time. Everything felt like it needed to be cleaned, and I couldn't find my keys which were right in front of me. Fortunately at the peak of my insanity, Austin called and said that I didn't need to come in until 4:00. I can now go back to bed, and wake up at my leisure to finish the ( Read more... )

I told people that if i went on a mood stabilizer, if I lost my manic periods, I would become lame. They said, "you'll always be Nicole" and "you'll just be more normal". Maybe this is just plain depression, not manic. I feel worse, I'm still sad, just slowed down. People don't call me anymore. I take that back: jen and brett still do. I was ( Read more... )

I am bipolar ( Read more... )

No time to update on my actual 4th of July, so i thought i would just come here to write about that disgusting feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. I've been told by several people recently that i am "a mess". Oh lord, I am. You know how when you get new people together, they choose their common friend to pick on? Well, I got to deal with ( Read more... )

I usually use this journal to complain about internal conflict. This time my conflict is extremely physical. I am now sick for the 4th time in 2005. This is just ridiculous. I am always getting sick. Maybe i need to take vitamins. Samantha says Centrum gives you almost no vitamins at all ( Read more... )

I can't blame any one thing on how I feel. I could say it has been the recent loss of friends, the loss of my cushy job, the end of school, but i don't know that it's any of those. What I do know is that I am "thinking too much" or so I've been told. I feel like I am hitting bottom. I am so insecure with my thoughts and actions that i cling to ( Read more... )

phantom gravity (12:14:59 AM): but i have no idea what i want to write ( Read more... )

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