...but I'm not good enough to be Bulimic.

[nikkiremembered]

I'm back in this cycle where I just don't give a fuck about purging anymore. I'm not talented enough, or should I say strong enough, to will the food back up. I'm a failure at being bulimic

Comments

[versace_vixen]

I'm in a lazy funk where I'm too lazy to purge. Ironically enough, I'm not too lazy to binge. Sigh. It's a vicious cycle. I'm here for you as always.

[nikkiremembered]

AH isn't it though? It will be 2:00 am and I'm not tired to binge, just too tired to purge. Thanks for the comment, I'm here for you too. <3

[ana4athom]

I love you my dear! I hope you can have a lovely Christmas and forget about our fucked up lives for one day. You deserve a break. You're beautiful, sweet, caring, and hilarious. So you've been a little lazy in the past few days...it's Christmas time...you're allowed to be bad :-)
Stay strong and have a wonderful Christmas. Talk to you soon
hugs
Dori

[nikkiremembered]

Thanks for the love ^_^* I know I can be bad on xmas, but last xmas I lost all control and spent the next year gaining weight. <3

[thesillyheart]

I hope you have a Merry Christmas. I'm sorry you're having a rough spot, but please don't give up! You are strong enough to get through this, and you are allowed to have bad days. Christmas can be a rough time with bulimia, too.

I've been in therapy for a year now, and I remember that when I first started therapy the bulima got bad. At certain points, it's gotten even worse. But you get through it, so you can get to the good.

I hope you are feeling better, and I send you love and support!

[nikkiremembered]

Thank you <3 Yes, today is a another day. It's just hard not to b/p when Im at the house where it originally started.

[aurora_tide]

bah!! failure my a**. you don't have to prove anything, rachel, to anyone!! it's not like you're not smart enough to have a diploma or kind enough to have friends. all the people that know you know that.

my dad was actually talking to me about the very thing you wrote about--the lack of success that 'pushing things' produces. it's such a sad paradox, but i guess we've got to learn from it. he told me that i shouldn't push myself to do homework when i don't feel like it (Wow!) because it just makes people anxious and unproductive. so freaking true.

anyway. no worries! i've been freezing my butt off and purging nonstop since i got home, too. and we HAVE a heater. hahahaha--oh well!

bah, so much to catch up on!! =) hey, here's a random question: what's your favorite xmas movie and why?

i don't know if i have one... but i'll try to think of something. talk to you soon, girly-- and
you will always be the same rachel to me, regardless of the circumstances or things that do/don't happen in and around your life.

xxoo

[nikkiremembered]

I actually cringe when I see that people comment on my LJ. I think I'm just afraid to hear something positive. I need to chill out. In a relaxing kind of way.

I'm more than sure I have a fav xmas movie, but I can't think of it. what's yours?

I feel better knowing that im not alone in regards to binging and purging. I just dont think that I can resist it since this is where it all began.

much loves and hugs, rachel

[saribynight]

Afraid to hear something positive?

Perhaps we should all start being a little meaner to Rachel, you guys.

Maybe we should start with some light insults....some mild berating perhaps...a bit of belittling...

*grin*