I still love your face. The way you look. Just looking at your picture i can remember your scent, the aura you gave, the feel of your skin and your voice. It makes me spiral out of control into a depression knowing ill never experience that again. this week i have contemplated suicide 3 times. Mostly all at work because i have a so so work day and ( Read more... )

i could barely handle being alone even when i was married. when i was off i always got depressed around 6-7 hour shift of her day but i kept strong because i had to be strong for when she got home tired. I had to comfort her and talk to her if she had frustrations in her day. I told myself she will be home soon that is when i will be happy. It was ( Read more... )

so my little brother has 7 years together with his wife. i had 6. congrats, seems you have proven yourself wrong in which you look up to me. i wish you more and happyness, never come the path i have taken after my pain started. Never see what i have seen or think what i think.

Id be in a house right now, this winter we would have started thinking of a child. I would have taken that sigma position for more money. I really loved being married, I really wanted a house together and it was a dream too. Also a kid together was a dream and wish. I dont know why im sacraficing my sleep or time from work. For me? who gives a fuck ( Read more... )

Its about to be a year and im still as heartbroken as the first day. :(

should i start going to cons again? i mean just looking at pictures just makes me depressed. i am not happy with my current situation. job is incredible and school is difficult as expected but other things. i am not happy. why do i feel betrayed by so many and only my family and 5 friends have been here with me holding me up. i think it might be ( Read more... )

So the dreams last night were odd because i felt like i was there. Everything was readable and i knew the layout of the land ( Read more... )

So in the end i walked the same path but this time i did not get blind with love. I looked and looked and well i saw the flaws. The same flaws that the other one had. My ideal situation is that she would come back but that isnt gonna happen. all i can do is when i go to sleep i just force myself by using a pillow to hold onto to feel a little ( Read more... )

I miss you so much, why do i still have the pictures of you. It just makes me want to hold you, to feel happy, to feel like im the luckiest guy in the world. I loved everything about you, i just could not put it into words. you wanted words but i could only show you that im dedicated to you i couldnt exactly put it into words. time for sleep, ill ( Read more... )

i wish i could stay up longer but i have to get up early. i wish i could cry in front of someone to let out what i feel but i cant. I have to hold up my mask so that no one worries about me. Its how we were raised. The man takes the abuse or as much of the abuse from the world and his wife needs to be happy and worry free. ill just go to sleep now ( Read more... )