Being the responsible person sucks, but now I realize how much of an ass I probably was for years.... Damn tonight is annoying!

So... I don't really recall where I left off. But, its been a fucked up month. I don't know if I've already said this, but I got a car and my license back. I'm still working, I love my job. But, it can really blow ass and the pay is shit. Hopefully ill get a better job one day. Austin and shane are engaged. Jessica is a bitch and I'm finally so ( Read more... )

This day is tricky every year... It always starts like everything is going to be horrible. But, it ends with everything working out perfectly. So, I was stressin... Everything seemed shitty. Now I'm drunk, house sittin, getting paid to do it, got free alcohol, cigarettes, chillin with people, food, cable, phone, and internet and I'm getting paid 20 ( Read more... )

I am just fuckin mean and irritable all the time unless I'm fucked up. I look like shit and I'm even fuckin up at work. I'm doing like stupid shit... Like, I think my brain is fried. Nothing makes me happy and I don't have fun doing anything. I think that's why I feel like just dieing today. I feel like nothing is ever going to be enjoyable again ( Read more... )

So, I shot up some heroin ( Read more... )

So, about an hour ago I reached another suicidal manifestation. Which I haven't felt that way in a looong time. I went to work, had asshole people talk shit to me, came home and all I wanted to do was be left alone. So, I went upstairs to my room. Non-stop my parents were just talking shit to me and about me. They wanted to use my phone and it was ( Read more... )

So, I've just about drank a litlle over a half of a fifth of vodka straight. Why is it that I feel ok now... I feel normal and happy and better now. Everything is clearer and easier. It all feels so much better. The fuuny thing is, I once again have the shakes. My eyes are ping pongin like crazy. I can't believe I can type, iots weird. But it feels ( Read more... )

So, at the moment I'm feeling really down. Not bc anything devastating is going on. In fact I should be happy, I'm working, I get my license back in two weeks, and I just filled out some paper work to get a house. Yet, I'm in a state of depression. I wanna sleep, but I've been sleeping off and on for 15-20 hours at a time when I can. I'm pretty ( Read more... )

So, today I've realized I am an alcoholic for sure. I smoke meth, do coacain, shoot heroine.... And alcohol is still my true love. I bought some rigs tonight.... Heroine sounded like the way to go. Everyone is making meth too. Yet, I don't even care. Heroine, cocaine, and alcohol are my main things. I suppose I do meth for two reasons. To lose ( Read more... )

Fuck, I feel bad... I was soooo tired though. I worked 13 hrs today and I had so much to do. I smoked some meth... Yes, once again I started doin meth. I have about a gram right now. Which will last me for like ever. But, I hate how I always like frea out. Like the first hit my heart races and I shake really fuckin bad. Shaking always calms down, ( Read more... )