Training camp. It's good to be back, smelling the ice and the sweat and hearing you all whine like babies.

Remember, Hey is now a member of the staff, so I'd advise being careful around him. I am only a pawn in his cruel manipulations.

Everyone over 200 lbs. goes on a diet.

*blows a ring of cigar smoke* A whole year to run you boys to the ground. I'm so glad the game is back.

Attention all: next season, I am requiring all players to shave their heads. That is all.

RUSLAN FEDOTENKO YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU WILL WISH YOU WERE FATTER BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU.

Hey sent me a Valentine.

I'm not stupid, I know rabbits can't send mail. Fess up. Who sent it?

Tangerine juice is better for your soul.

Hey Lecavalier. I know you're all depressed and shit, so I thought I'd send you some socks. You're always talking about needing socks, right? Consider it a late Christmas gift, or something. And be grateful. It's real rabbit fur.

Hey and I are getting along pretty well. He eats grass, I smoke grass I like grass, the world is fine.

So the kids come home with a fucking rabbit. And they're all "Dad, can't we keep him?" Of course I say no, but they keep him anyway, and named it Fuzzy or Muffin or something. This was a week ago ( Read more... )

Drive the kids to school. Drive the kids home.

Well, then Dave comes over sometimes, and that's pretty nice.

But seriously? Yeah, I'm starting up the NHL again. Who's with me?

Oh yeah, isn't it also one of you Swedish guys' birthday? Have a good one. Or something.